


Yesterday is history; tomorrow, a mystery

by ozuma



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 15:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozuma/pseuds/ozuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When circumstances lead to Alvin literally reliving his childhood, Jude realizes that some things are best left in the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jude

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting a fic for Tales of Xillia and my first time posting on AO3, so bear with me (this tagging thing takes some getting used to). The idea for this fic came to me suddenly, and somehow it's ended up a lot longer than I'd anticipated (this happens a lot with me). Fic takes place after the end of the game, and I have no idea of it's ToX2 compliant because I've only watched friends stream that game in Japanese so far.
> 
> Thanks to this awesome fandom for translating some of the extra material on the game. I'm going off of everything I've been able to find, but I imagine I may mess up a few details about Alvin's backstory. So apologies in advance for that. In any case, enjoy!

 

 

_We all have our time machines, don't we. Those that take us back are memories... And those that carry us forward, are dreams._

-H.G. Wells

\---

The one thing Jude had noticed over the past few months since he and Alvin had started – well, he didn’t really know what to call it; ‘dating’ was probably an appropriate term – was that there were certain topics that he was better off not bringing up with him.

It was when he had been visiting Xian Du for a weekend and helping out Alvin with his newly formed business that he’d first noticed it.

As soon as Jude set the heavy box down he’d been ordered to move on top of the closest stack he could find in the warehouse, he turned to Alvin.

“Is this okay?”

Alvin was too busy glancing down at the clipboard in his hands, so he waved a hand in Jude’s general direction before answering, “Yeah, that’ s fine.”

“You’re not even looking,” Jude pointed out as he walked over to where Alvin was looking over the clipboard.

“I trust your judgement,” Alvin answered absentmindedly.

Jude took a peek at the clipboard as he stopped next to Alvin. At the very bottom in fresh ink was Alvin’s signature. As Jude looked it over, a question popped up in his mind.

“Alvin, how come you don’t use your real name? I mean, this is a business that’ll be operating between Rieze Maxia and Elympios, right?”

At the time it had seemed like such an innocent question, but Alvin’s usual easygoing expression had immediately darkened. He looked away from Jude.

“I have my reasons.”

“Your reasons?” Jude wasn’t quite sure he understood.

Jude felt Alvin’s arm around his shoulder, a gesture he was all to used to by now. “It’s a lot easier to just sign with ‘Alvin,’ you know?” He said with a laugh. “My real name’s far too long.”

Yet when Jude looked over to Alvin, something was off in his expression. The smile seemed forced, and his eyes hinted at something else that Jude couldn’t quite figure out.

It was then that Jude realized that even after everything that had happened, there were just some things you just didn’t bring up around Alvin.

\---

_You worry too much, Jude! Alvin will_ love _it. Besides, I’ve already gathered all the stuff we need for the party. Too late to back down, now!_

Jude read over the last sentence of the letter written in Leia’s messy handwriting. Despite having everything set in place, he couldn’t help but worry regardless. Birthdays tended to remind people of their past, and with Alvin he could never quite be sure of whether that was okay or not.

Jude sighed as he put the letter down on his desk and turned back to the spyrite research test results he’d been looking over before. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he recalled just why he’d taken a break to read some letters instead. A certain recurrent variable that neither he nor his research team could make sense of kept popping up in the printed out results. It didn’t seem to affect anything, but the fact that it was there in the first place flew in the face of every bit of theory Jude had worked to construct over the past half year.

He ended up so absorbed in the words on the page that he didn’t even hear the door to his office open. He almost jumped when he felt someone’s arms around his shoulders.

“Still the ever-studious honors student, I see,” came a voice from right next to his ear.

“Alvin!” Jude jumped in his seat. He hadn’t been expecting him for another few hours at least. He spun his chair around. Sure enough, Alvin was standing only a few feet away with that look of casual amusement Jude was so used to seeing by now.

“Am I?” Alvin rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“You said in your letter that you’d be here in the afternoon,” Jude pointed out, sounding more annoyed than he’d meant to. He resisted the urge to glance back at his desk. There was a stack of letters he needed to hide.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Alvin was leaning over Jude in his chair now, one knee against the seat to keep himself balanced. “I finished up things in Xian Du sooner than I’d anticipated, so I figured I’d get started on my trip early. I left last night.”

“I would’ve appreciated some notice ahead of time.” Jude tilted his head up to meet Alvin’s eyes. It was embarrassing how Alvin could still make him flustered just by being in his personal space like this.

“And here I thought you liked surprises.” Alvin closed the distance between them with a slow, languid kiss.

Forgetting everything else for the moment, Jude couldn’t help grabbing at the lapels of Alvin’s coat and pulling him closer. It had been more than a month since he’d last seen Alvin, after all.

“Alvin,” Jude said with a hint of amusement in his voice as he pulled back. “What have I told you about distracting me when I’m at work?” He could feel Alvin laugh as he moved down to kiss Jude’s neck.

“That it’s something you really enjoy and you highly encourage me to continue doing in the future?” Alvin voice was a soft rumble against Jude’s throat.

Jude stifled a moan as he summoned every ounce of discipline he could at the moment. “As much as I’d love to continue,” his breath hitched as he felt teeth brush against his skin. “I am kind of busy right now.”

“Fine, fine.” Alvin pulled back, standing back from Jude’s chair as he regarded him with amusement. “You’re cute when you get flustered, you know that?”

Jude spun his chair around as his blush only deepened. “It’s a miracle I ever get any work done when you visit,” he muttered as he surveyed the mess of papers on his desk. There was a stack of letters he’d meant to put away before Alvin arrived. Hoping that Alvin wouldn’t notice anything, he shuffled the letters with some research notes and shoved them into a drawer.

“But now that you’re here early, maybe you could help me out.” Jude stood up out of the chair and stretched. He’d been sitting down since he’d gotten into the lab in the early morning and it was good to finally move around again.

“You want me to chat with your patients again?” Alvin arched an eyebrow.

“Please?” Jude looked at him hopefully. “They really like you, you know.”

He sighed. “It’s good to know I’m so popular among a bunch of grandmas.”

Jude laughed. “Well, for them I think it’s a relief to talk to someone who isn’t asking them about how they feel all the time. If you’re stuck talking to a bunch of doctors in lab coats all day, it probably gets really tiring. But you’re different.”

“And here I thought it was my natural charm.” There was a touch of disappointment in Alvin’s tone.

Jude patted him on the back as he headed for the door. “That’s what I meant by ‘different.’” He smiled at Alvin as he opened the door. “Come on, they’re in the examination room downstairs.”

Alvin followed Jude out the office door and down the hallway. “How are they, anyway? Are those new… spyrites working for them?”

“That’s the thing.” Jude sounded doubtful. “They’re working far better than we anticipated. And we can’t exactly figure out why.”

“You say that like a bad thing.” Alvin shrugged. “So you’ve come up with a medicine that’s better than you’d planned. Sounds good to me.”

Jude shook his head as he reached the foot of the stairwell leading down to the second floor. “When you’re dealing with live human test subjects, you leave nothing to chance.”

“So what’re you going to do?”

“At this point? I was thinking of stopping the tests until we get a clearer picture of what’s going on. I don’t want to continue anything that has even the slightest chance of harming our patie-”

Jude’s words were cut off by a low rumble rolling through the entire lab. He lost his footing on the steps and would’ve fallen the rest of the way if Alvin hadn’t grabbed his arm.

“What the hell was that?” Alvin looked around as though expecting to find the source of the shockwave in the stairwell itself.

“That felt like it came from the second floor. That’s where the examination room is!” Jude broke off into a run with Alvin following close behind.

By the time they reached the second floor, the whole place was already in chaos. Smoke was pouring out of the examination room. A woman from Jude’s research team was running toward them.

“Dr. Mathis, we’ve got to get the patients out of the examination room!”

“Did someone shut down everything in the control room already?”

The woman shook her head. “I’m not sure. I can go check the control room if you need me to.”

“The patients’ safety comes first.” Jude stepped forward but stopped when Alvin stepped ahead of him.

“You work on getting to the bottom of what caused this. I’ll get the patients out, okay?”

“But Alvin-”

“Don’t worry about me!” Alvin dashed into billowing smoke without another word.

Jude rushed into the control room next door to the examination room. Another member of his research team was already inside handling the monitors.

“What’s going on here?” Jude demanded.

“I’m not sure! It seems like some kind of reaction-”

Jude pushed past him to get a good look at the monitor. The technology had been brought over from Elympios to assist with the research over on this side. None of it used spyrix technology of course. All it did was monitor everything they did in the examination room. And right now the results it was giving were…

“This doesn’t make any sense.” Jude reread the text on the screen as though doing so would somehow make it conform to some semblance of logic.

The man spoke up. “That’s what I was saying, Dr. Mathis. It looks like there was some kind of chain reaction and then… well, I’m not sure what it’s trying to tell us.” He shook his head.

“And it looks like everything’s already shut down on its own. What could’ve caused a chain reaction, then?” Jude was talking to himself now. “And the smoke… I don’t smell a fire or anything. This doesn’t make any sense.” Jude turned and ran back for the door. “We’ll figure this out later. We have to make sure no one’s injured first!”

He ran back into the hallway to find the rest of his team helping the evacuated patients. After looking around, he called out, “Alvin?”

One of the patients lying against the wall pointed into the room. “That man… he ran in and brought us out, but he hasn’t come out after he went back to see if anyone else was inside.”

Jude looked toward the door to the examination room. The odd smoke was mostly in the hall now, clinging to the ground instead of rising like regular smoke ought to. Jude dashed inside the room, looking around as the smoke cleared further.

“Alvin!” He called out. There was no response. The smoke was starting to clear, but he saw no sign of his friend.

As he tread further into the room, he nearly tripped over something. He looked down as the smoke cleared…

“What the?” He reached down into the smoke and pulled out… a boot? “Wait a second-!” It definitely belonged to Alvin. Jude wondered for a second if Alvin had tripped and fallen or…

The smoke gradually cleared to reveal a rather bizarre sight. Alvin’s clothes were laying on the ground sans their owner. Jude’s breath caught in his chest. He stumbled back onto the ground, fearing for the worst until the smoke cleared enough for him to see Alvin’s coat.

Curled up in Alvin’s coat was… a child? The boy lay sideways, seemingly wearing nothing except for the coat and shirt he was curled up in. Jude crawled closer to get a better look at the sleeping boy. The boy’s short brown hair stuck up a little as he slept peacefully. Jude reached out and turned the boy over so he could get a better look at his face. As realization finally dawned him, his eyes widened in shock.

“N-no way…” He got up and ran out into the hallway to get some assistance.

Half of the research team was working on evacuating the patients and getting them back to Talim Medical School. Jude managed to get Helena, one of the women on the team, to help him clear out the room. She had the good sense to pick up the sleeping child along with Alvin’s coat and take him to one of the side rooms to get him dressed. They luckily still had left over clothes from when they’d had younger patients in the lab.

By the time Jude knocked politely on the door and entered with the rest of Alvin’s clothes that he had gathered, the child was still asleep while lying on an examination table, fully dressed in a collared shirt, shorts, and a pair of shoes.

Helena looked at Jude worriedly as he entered the room. “Dr. Mathis, who is this child?”

Jude pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not entirely sure, to be honest. But I have a hunch. Hopefully we can find out when he wakes up.”

“At first I thought he was one of our patients. But we haven’t been working with children for awhile. We only had our older patients in the lab for today, didn’t we?” She was looking to Jude for an explanation now. Jude wished he had a decent one to offer.

“That’s right. I’ll have a chat with him once he wakes up. Then we can get to the bottom of this.” Jude looked down at the sleeping boy on the examination table. “I’ll watch over him for now. Sorry to ask this of you, but could you help the rest of the team get the patients back to Talim?”

Helena nodded. “Today sure has been a day, hasn’t it?”

Jude sighed. “I wish I knew what could’ve caused all this.”

She patted Jude on the shoulder. “We’ll figure it out once things calm down.” She turned to leave the room.

Jude felt bad about leaving everyone else to clean up. But there was no way he was going to leave this boy alone like this. Especially if he was who Jude thought he was.

Jude wasn’t sure how many minutes passed as he watched the boy sleep. But finally the boy started to stir. Jude rushed to his side as he started to sit up on the exam table.

“A-Alvin?” He asked tentatively.

The boy sat up, rubbed his eyes, and looked around. His gaze darted around the room and then back to Jude.

“Alvin? Are you oka-”

Jude’s words were cut off as the boy launched himself off the table feet first into Jude, knocking the wind out of him. Jude stumbled backward into the wall next to the examination table.

There was a click and before Jude knew it, he was staring down the barrel of a gun – Alvin’s gun.

“You have five seconds to tell me where the hell I am,” the boy demanded. He glared at Jude with narrowed eyes cold as ice.

“Alvin…” Jude managed to get out as he slowly caught his breath.

“That’s _not_ my name,” the boy answered coldly.

Jude wracked his brain as he tried to figure out what was going on. The voice matched – the pitch was a lot higher but it was unmistakably Alvin. Yet the way he was acting made no sense.

“Don’t think I’ll hesitate to blow your head off,” the boy threatened.

Jude noticed the way the younger boy held the gun – held steady in his left hand with his right hand for support since it was probably heavier than he was used to. Jude recognized that stance.

“Alfred,” Jude said quietly. “That’s your name, right?’

The boy’s eyes widened in surprise. He clearly hadn’t been expecting that.

It was now or never – Jude dove for the boy before he could so much as pull the trigger. The gun went flying out of the boy’s hand toward the door as he hit the ground. Once he had him on the ground, Jude managed to pin him with ease.

“Let me go!” The boy yelled.

Jude had him firmly held down now, the boy’s arms behind his back, which Jude held in place.

“Not until you promise not to hurt anyone.” Jude’s tone came out more stern than he’d meant for it to.

“Who the hell are you, anyway?” The boy shouted, still squirming. “You work for Gilbert or something? I’m not your enemy, dammit!”

Jude blinked. He couldn’t make heads or tails of what Alvin was saying.

“Alfred.” Jude was struggling to hold the boy down. He was surprisingly strong for his age. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Says the jerk who tackled me!”

“You attacked me first,” Jude reminded him. “Promise not to try to kill me again and I’ll let you go.”

Alvin didn’t say anything in response. Instead, he went still.

“If it’s information you want, I don’t know anything.”

“I’m not after any information,” Jude answered truthfully.

“Then why’d you kidnap me?”

Jude blinked in surprise. “Kidnap?”

“Why else would you drug me and drag me here?”

Jude couldn’t think of a response. He felt like he was missing something here. “Wait. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“It’s none of your business,” the boy spat back in response.

This was going nowhere. “Look, I didn’t kidnap you. You just lost your memory and-”

“Then where am I?”

“Um…” Jude tried to think of the best way to answer that question. “Fennmont.”

At that, Alvin’s eyes went wide with surprise. “So we’re… in Rashugal?” He asked hesitantly.

“We are,” Jude answered slowly.

Alvin went silent again.

“Alfred, I know you’re probably wondering how you got here. But I promise you, I’m not here to hurt you.”

Once again, Alvin kept silent.

“If I let you go, will you promise to cooperate?”

Alvin nodded slowly, though it was hard to with his face pressed against the floor.

“Okay then.” Jude eased up on Alvin gradually. When the boy seemed to offer no resistance, he backed off completely. He watched cautiously as Alvin sat up slowly. Other than rubbing his arms, the boy sat rooted to the spot.

“Follow me, okay? I promise I won’t hurt you,” Jude reassured him again. He was relieved when Alvin allowed him to take hold of his hand and lead him out of the room. As he headed for the first floor, he kept his eye on Alvin in case the boy decided to try and make a run for it. It was unnerving how quiet he’d become. The Alvin he knew was always eager for conversation most of the time. But this version of him was eerily quiet. The boy simply stared ahead, his face expressionless.

Jude ended up leading Alvin into one of the rooms they usually used for patients toward the back of the first floor. It was a relatively small room with six simple beds and one table. Since the door had a lock on it, Jude figured this was the best place to keep Alvin for the time being.

After getting Alvin settled on one of the beds, Jude knelt down so he could speak to the boy face to face. He couldn’t get over how weird it felt to be speaking to Alvin like this.

“Just stay here, okay? I’ll be right back,” Jude said in the most reassuring voice he could muster.

Once again, his only response was a nod from the boy, who kept his eyes averted from Jude. His hands were bunched up in his lap. Other than that he gave no indication of what he was thinking.

Satisfied that he’d at least gotten through to him, Jude headed out of the room. As he closed the door he took one last look at Alvin. The last thing he saw before closing the door was the boy seated on the edge of the bed, perfectly still as he stared off into the distance. After Jude locked the door, he looked at the clock hanging in the hallway.

“Crap! I’m already late!” Leia’s ship had arrived a full half hour ago and Jude had promised her he’d help her carry her luggage to her hotel. She was going to kill him at this rate. But he couldn’t just leave Alvin here in this state, either. That meant he’d need to send someone from his research team out to get her instead. Between the accident, dealing with Alvin as he was now, and figuring out just what the heck was going on in the first place, Jude wouldn’t be surprised if his team either quit or strangled him by the end of the week.


	2. Leia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia wonders if this is what it's like to have a little brother.
> 
> [Spoilers for end of the game and Alvin's backstory.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not expect this chapter to take as long as it did! Nor did I expect it to end up as long as it did. I guess this is like two chapters in one? In any case, I was determined to finish it before Winter Break ended, so I'm happy to have made it at the very last second. The hardest part of this chapter was deciding how to portray Alvin as a kid, but I'm happy with this final version.

Leia’s memories of the weeks immediately following that terrible accident in her childhood were fuzzy at best: a blur of pain, Dr. Mathis’s stern voice, and the view outside the clinic’s window.

Every now and then she’d hear the door to her room open and close, a plate of food would appear by her bedside, and the door would once again swing open. At first, she never really questioned it. Her bed was situated higher than the table and turning her head to look down and figure out the identity of her visitor was too difficult. For the first few weeks, she liked to imagine that her food was magically floating to her bedside table.

It just happened that one day when she’d finally started improving that Leia had actually been awake enough when her mysterious benefactor arrived. She spied him over the edge of the other bed in the room as he entered slowly through the door. It was a young boy, maybe around her age, who was currently carrying her tray of food carefully. He didn’t even look up at the bed as he laid the tray on the side table.

That was when Leia struck, grabbing the boy’s arm as he turned to leave.

“Gah!” The boy tried to jump back, but Leia’s grip was firm.

“Got you!” Leia opened her eyes, a victorious grin spread across her face. The physical therapy had been helping after all.

“L-let me go!” The boy looked up at Leia as though she were some monster about to devour him.

Leia was grinning from ear to ear, pleased to have finally figured out the identity of this mysterious kid. “You gotta say the magic word,” Leia told him.

“P-please?” The boy offered.

“Nope, the other one!”

The boy was at a loss. “Is there… another one?”

“There is. And if you can’t guess it, I’ll never let you go.” Leia said with a grin.

“That isn’t fair!”

Leia couldn’t help laughing, even though it made her sides hurt. The look of horror on the boy’s face was just too much. She figured she might as well find out who he was before she let him go.

“So what’s your name, anyway?”

“Oh, um. It’s Jude.” He smiled as he said it, eyes lighting up in a way that Leia found endearing.

Despite the pain shooting up her arm from the effort of keeping a tight grip on her visitor, Leia couldn’t have been happier. After weeks of only talking to adults, she’d finally found someone her age.

“I’m Leia. Nice to meet you!” She couldn’t maneuver enough to shake his hand, so she just shook his arm awkwardly.

Jude looked up at her. “Oh, I know. Dad’s been talking about you a lot lately.”

She blinked. “Dad…? You mean…?” Her eyes widened in shock. “Dr. Mathis is your dad?!”

“Uh huh,” Jude answered with a nod.

“Oh.” Leia wasn’t sure of what to say to that. She finally let go of Jude’s arm, her own arm searing with pain by this point. She tried her best not to show it.

“Are you okay?”

Leia nodded.

“You sure? Dad said you’d just started physical therapy, so…”

Leia flexed her fingers a bit. She was pretty used to the pain by now. “I’ll be okay.” She tried to hide her pain with a smile, but Jude wasn’t fooled.

“I can go get Dad or Mom if it really hurts…”

“N-no! It’s okay!” Leia had seen enough of Dr. Mathis for one day.

“Um, okay then.” Jude fidgeted a bit. “I should go, though. Dad gets mad when I bug his patients.”

Leia shook her head furiously. “No! Don’t go! I’ll tell him I made you stay.” She hated to beg, but she was desperate. “Please?”

Jude glanced back at the door uneasily before turning back to Leia. “I… I guess I can stay for a bit.” He hopped up on the bed opposite Leia’s, swinging his legs aimlessly.

From that day forward, Jude would stop by even when he wasn’t delivering food. As far as Leia could remember, they didn’t talk about anything particularly deep, mostly dumb kid stuff. She’d been ready to just write him off as a total wimp when she first met him, but there was something about him: the way he smiled, the way he laughed at her silly jokes, the way his whole face would turn pink when he was caught off guard.

Looking back, she wondered if that was when she first fell for Jude.

 

 

\---

Considering all of their meticulous planning beforehand, the last thing Leia had expected to see after stepping off of the boat at Fennmont’s docks was the absence of the usually punctual Jude. She marched on ahead, her considerable luggage held in both hands, as her mind ran through ideas of what punishment to inflict on Jude whenever he did decide to show up. When she stopped to catch her breath, she noticed someone’s shadow on the ground next to hers.

“Excuse me, Miss. But would you happen to be Leia Rolando?”

She stood up and turned around to find a serious-looking man in a lab coat.

“That would be me,” she said somewhat uncertainly.

“I’ve been sent to escort you to your hotel. Unfortunately, Dr. Mathis is rather tied up at the moment. So I agreed to come meet you in his stead.” He handed what looked like a letter to Leia.

She looked the single sheet over, noting that it did in fact feature Jude’s neat, girly writing. It was more of a note than a letter. Just a few sentences saying he needed her to come to the laboratory from the hotel because plans had changed unexpectedly.

She tilted her head to the side as she finished reading the note. “Is everything okay?”

“Dr. Mathis will explain everything when we arrive at the lab,” the main smiled apologetically. “My name is Dr. Grey, by the way. But just call me Grey.”

“Nice to meet you, then.” Instead of shaking his hand, Leia offered him one heavy bag cheerfully. “Mind helping me out?”

Grey took the bag without protest, though judging by the way he winced upon picking it up, he was surprised by its weight.

As Leia trudged toward their new destination with Jude’s oddly quiet colleague, she couldn’t help wondering what was going on. First of all, when had Jude become so important that he had people running errands for him? Secondly, what had him so occupied that he had to break a promise he’d made in writing? And finally, why was she being escorted back to the lab? The original plan was for them to meet at Fennmont’s docks, head to her hotel, and then Leia would split off to make preparations while Jude waited for Alvin to arrive. This was totally different from the original plan, and Leia could only hope there was a good excuse for it.

On the way Grey insisted that they pick up lunch. It seemed like an odd detour to make considering how much of a hurry they were in, but she was pretty hungry now that she thought about it. Upon finally arriving at the lab, Grey asked Leia to wait just inside the front hallway.

“Sorry, I’ll have to ask you to wait here while I go get Dr. Mathis.” He smiled apologetically again as he ran off to get Jude.

This really was getting weird. She remembered Jude mentioning that he’d gotten funding for a research lab in one of his letters, but she hadn’t realized just how big that lab was.

“Leia!” Jude was running down the hall toward Leia, now. He seemed to be in quite a bit of a hurry.

Leia would’ve crossed her arms had she not been holding a box of food. “The great Dr. Mathis finally decides to show his face, I see.”

Jude stopped to catch his breath. “Sorry! This morning’s been kind of crazy, and I had to stay back at the lab.”

Leia looked him over. “Geez, Jude. You look like you’ve been up all night.”

She tilted her head to the side a bit as she considered Jude’s exhaustion. “Is everything okay? That guy you sent, Grey or whatever his name was, made it sound like there’d been an emergency.”

Jude nodded. “There was an accident this morning.”

“Really?” Leia looked around, expecting to see scorch marks or cracks running up the walls. “What kind of accident?”

“We’re still trying to figure out the specifics, actually. Everyone on my team’s fine.” Jude ran a hand through his hair nervously. “But, well, Alvin was here and…”

“Alvin?! I thought he wasn’t due to arrive for another few hours? Wasn’t the whole reason I caught the early morning ship from Leronde so I could get here by the afternoon and start setting up things before he got here?”

“You know Alvin.” Jude’s smile was strained. “He said he finished up his business in Xian Du early, so he traveled overnight to get here this morning.”

“Well, that messes up our plans a bit.” Leia pouted a bit. “And wait, you said Alvin was here? Did the accident have something to do with him?”

Jude glanced down at the ground. “He was involved, but…” Jude looked like he was about to say something before thinking better of it. He looked back up at Leia, instead. “Well, come with me. It’s kind of hard to explain.”

“O-okay.” Leia was really starting to worry, now. The way Jude looked as he led her toward the back of the building seemed to hint at something being seriously wrong. She was afraid to even ask.

Jude stopped when they reached a locked room toward the back of the building.

“So… where’s Alvin?” Leia asked quietly.

Jude pointed to a row of windows close to the ceiling above them. “In there.”

Leia stood up on the tips of her toes to be able to see through the windows. As she gazed through the glass, she saw a small room filled with a few beds. Sitting on the one closest to the window was a young boy no older than 12 by the looks of it. At the moment he seemed to be staring off into the distance, his legs swinging idly off the edge of the bed.

“Cute kid,” Leia said, unsure of what Jude was trying to show her. “Is he one of your patients?”

“That’s Alvin,” Jude answered.

Leia froze. She turned her head toward Jude slowly. “Very funny, Jude. If this is you and Alvin’s idea of some lame joke…” Between this and making her wait at the port, she was starting to wonder if this was all some elaborate prank planned by Alvin.

Jude shook his head. “I know it sounds crazy, but that boy in there is, as far as I can tell, Alvin.”

She was expecting Alvin to jump out from around the corner any second now, laughing at how she’d fallen for his brilliant prank. And yet Jude’s serious expression didn’t change and no one else appeared in the hallway. Leia stole another peek through the glass.

“How can that be Alvin? The kid’s around 2 feet too short for that, nevermind the age being totally off.”

Jude laughed nervously. “Well, as far as I can tell, this is what happened…”

Leia listened to him retell the events of the morning. It was kind of confusing, but from what she gathered, the experiment Jude and his team had been running had gone wrong somehow and Alvin had gotten caught up in it while trying to get Jude’s patients out of danger. Since then, he’d been like this.

“So… he’s a kid now?”

“That’s what it looks like. And it’s not just a physical change, either. He doesn’t seem to remember any of us.”

“He’s got amnesia on top of that,” Leia rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Sounds like something out of a mystery novel.”

“I don’t think it’s amnesia,” Jude said hesitantly. “I think… well, it’s just a theory at the moment. But I think that whatever happened this morning has literally turned back the clock for Alvin. As far as he’s concerned, he really is a kid.”

Leia’s eyes widened in surprise. She couldn’t even imagine what that must be like. “Wait, so you sent Alvin back in time?!”

“In a sense…” Jude looked like he was in deep thought. “The best way I can think of to explain it is that time has been reversed, but just for Alvin. We’re still in this time period, but he’s in the past. If that makes sense.”

It didn’t really make complete sense to Leia, but she was pretty sure she understood the gist of it. “Okay, so Alvin’s stuck as a kid right now and he doesn’t know who any of us are. That means we just have to watch over him until he goes back to normal, right?”

“Well, that’s if this is reversible.” Jude fidgeted with the sleeve of his lab coat. “That’s what my team’s working on figuring out now. The good news is that I don’t see any reason why it shouldn’t be reversible.”

“Jude!” Leia glared at him. “This is, like, the opposite of a birthday! You’re supposed to get older, not younger!”

Jude held up his hands as though to defend himself. “I know, I know! It’s my fault, and I’ll fix it! I just need some time. That’s why I need your help.”

“Let me guess,” Leia shot Jude a knowing look. “You want me to babysit him.”

“If you can’t, I understand. I know things between you and Alvin are still…”

“Strained? Sure they are. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to help out with this.”

As uneasy as she felt, Leia meant what she said. It was true that she and Alvin had hardly spoken after what happened in Hamil over half a year ago. Jude had planned for Leia to arrive in Fennmont well before him exactly for that reason. But if Alvin needed her help, it wasn’t like she could bring herself to say ‘no.’ If he really was stuck as a kid with no memory of the present, then he was probably scared out of his mind right now. Even after everything, Alvin was still her friend on some level. And she owed him at least this much.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Jude asked hesitantly. “Like I said, I can look after him myself, but-”

“You’re sure you can figure out a way to get Alvin back to normal, right?”

Jude nodded. “My research team’s working on figuring out what happened this morning. Things should go faster once I join them.”

“You guys had better work really fast, then,” Leia warned.

“We only have, what, three days before everyone else arrives?” Jude rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“Yup! Three days.” Leia paused for a moment as she considered something. “I mean, worst case scenario, we could just take away a few birthday candles…”

Jude groaned. “Don’t even joke about that! I don’t want to imagine what’ll happen if Alvin’s still like this when everyone arrives. Yurgen’ll kill me for depriving him of a business partner, for one.”

Leia couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at the mental image. But then something dawned on her. “Wait, did you lock Alvin in this room?”

Jude looked toward the locked door. “Er, well. You could put it that way.” He quickly added, “But I had a good reason to.”

“Jude!” Leia was back in full scolding mode. “He’s probably scared out of his mind and you lock him up in a room by himself? He probably thinks we’re kidnappers or something!”

“He deduced that before this room even came into things, actually.”

Leia blinked. “Huh?”

“Look, I know Alvin looks like a normal kid, but… he’s more dangerous than he looks. That’s why I feel bad asking you to look after him. The first thing he did after waking up from that accident was to point a gun at me. He definitely looked like he knew how to use it, too.”

For a brief moment as Leia closed her eyes, the sterile hallways of the laboratory giving way to bright sunlight filtering through high tree tops above. A scent of leaves and something sweet seemed to hang over everything. Suddenly, a loud bang tore through the air as Leia’s shoulder exploded pain.

She winced at the memory but quickly recovered by shifting the box she was holding in her hands. She kept her eyes shut, her heart racing as she pushed down the memory. Hopefully, Jude hadn’t noticed.

“Well, he’s not armed now, right?” She asked, more to assure herself than anything.

Jude shook his head. “He should be mostly harmless, now. I’ve been trying to talk to him since before you got here, but he refuses to answer any of my questions. He won’t even tell me how old he is. And he doesn’t believe me when I try to explain why he can’t remember coming here. I doubt it would do much good to tell him how much we know. If anything, it’d probably make him more suspicious.”

“Poor Alvin…” Leia glanced down at the box in her hands. She couldn’t imagine how frightening this must be for him. As she focused her thoughts, she remembered the box in her arms as though it had just materialized out of thin air. “Is the food for him, then?”

“It is. I figure he’s probably hungry. And maybe he’ll open up to us more if we’re more hospitable.”

“Well, don’t worry about me.” Leia had already made up her mind. “I’ll keep an eye on him for you while you figure out a way to reverse this.”

Jude’s relief was palpable. “You have no idea how grateful I am, Leia. I really owe you.”

“Don’t worry.” Leia grinned. “I’ll be sure to remember _exactly_ how much you owe me back for this.”

He laughed nervously before turning toward the door. “Oh, and one more thing I should tell you before we go in and talk to him.”

“What?”

“Use his real name.”

“Alfred?” The unfamiliar name felt strange on Leia’s tongue. “Um, sure. I’ll remember that.”

 

 

\---

Ten minutes later and Leia found herself alone in the room with Alvin. Jude had done his best with introductions, but Alvin had simply kept his gaze focused anywhere but on them. It was unnerving to see him like this. The Alvin that Leia knew so well was someone you couldn’t shut up sometimes.

“So…” Leia began awkwardly. She remembered the box in her hands. “You must be hungry.”

The boy shook his head.

“You sure?” Leia opened the box and took out one rappig bun. It was still warm. “The stuff they make around here is pretty good.” She took a bite out of it. Truth be told, she was really hungry.

She sat there in awkward silence finishing off the bun as she watched Alvin. He was deliberately looking away, doing his best to ignore her.

“Come on, Alv-” Leia corrected herself. “Alfred. We got this for you. You like rappig, right?”

The boy shook his head again.

“Guess I’ll have to finish this whole box myself, then.” Leia announced, wishing she felt as cheerful as she sounded. It wasn’t like she could finish off a dozen of these things by herself.

As she finished off the second bun and found herself wondering what she could do, the sound of a low growl sliced through the otherwise silent room.

Leia stopped mid-bite. Alvin quickly crossed his arms over his stomach, as though to prevent any further betrayal from his stomach. His cheeks were slowly turning red.

“Sounds like your stomach isn’t convinced,” Leia said with a laugh. She reached into the box and pulled out another bun. “Come on, take it. I swear there’s nothing weird in it or anything. And like I said, I got this for you.”

Alvin slowly looked up at Leia. His gaze shifted to the box in her hands, his eyebrows furrowed as though considering a matter of life and death. A few more moments passed before he held out his hand.

Leia was tempted to comment on his lack of manners, but getting this far felt like a miracle. She handed him the bun. “Here you go.” She watched in amazement as he proceeded to devour it in seconds.

He held his hand out again.

Leia obliged him. They repeated the process until Alvin had gone through more than half the box. By the time he’d finished his seventh bun, he was looking significantly more amicable.

“Pretty good, right?” Leia gave him one of her best smiles.

Alvin said nothing and maintained the same guarded expression as he looked back at Leia. The fact that he was actually looking at her now gave her hope.

“Well, you seem to be feeling better at least.”

“Why do you care?” He finally blurted out. Judging by the way he immediately closed his mouth and went back to glaring at the ground, it seemed like he hadn’t meant to say anything.

“Because I do,” Leia answered firmly. Her tone brooked no argument. When Alvin provided no further response, she decided to prod him further. “Come on. I’m not your enemy. I swear.”

An uncomfortable silence descended on the room, the tension almost suffocating to Leia. She needed to think of something, anything. As she fidgeted nervously, her hand hit something hard in her pocket. She reached inside and pulled out a deck of cards that she’d brought along to fend off boredom on the boat ride. But now… she looked at Alvin.

“Wanna play cards?” She offered.

The boy slowly turned his head to meet her gaze. His eyes darted between the deck of cards and Leia’s face, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“I can teach you some games, if you want,” Leia offered.

“Poker,” Alvin said immediately.

Leia blinked. “Uh, yeah, sure! Poker sounds good.” She wondered if Alvin was particularly good at the game or something.

“One one condition,” the boy added.

“Huh?”

“If I win three out of five games, you let me go.”

Leia was taken aback for a moment before a thought occurred to her.

“And if I win?”

The boy didn’t expect that response. He thought for a moment. “Then…”

“You have to promise to trust us,” Leia interrupted.

For the second time since she’d entered the room, the boy looked surprised. “F-fine!” He answered firmly as he clenched his fists.

Leia breathed a sigh of relief as she laid the cards down on a table she pulled over. She was pretty confident in her Poker skills. Her dad had taught her everything, after all. While she had no intention of underestimating Alvin, she was pretty sure that she could beat him. And if she didn’t, well… she’d cross that bridge when she got there.

 

 

\---

Jude noted how the examination room was in surprisingly good condition for the site of a freak accident. Now cleared of all of its furniture for the sake of their investigation, it seemed smaller somehow. As far as the investigation went, Jude supposed they were in luck seeing as how there was a clue plain as day in the middle of the floor.

“This is… a channeling circle?” he asked as he looked at the faded pattern etched on the floor.

“The remnants of one,” Grey answered from the other end of the room.

That could mean only one thing, Jude realized. “A spirit arte?” He’d read about spirit artes occurring spontaneously before, though it was supposed to be an incredibly rare occurrence.

“It would seem that way,” Helena was seated cross-legged on the floor in front of the circle. “Interesting pattern, that’s for sure. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.”

“So…” Grey looked over to Jude. “What happened to your friend? You never quite explained what happened to him.”

“Um, well…” Jude fidgeted. Aside from Helena, no one had really seen what had happened to Alvin.

“He regressed chronologically,” Helena said in a matter-of-fact manner.

Grey was staring at the both of them now, eyebrows raised. Just as he was opening his mouth to respond, the door opened.

“I think I may have figured out what generated this channeling circle.”

It was the final member of Jude’s small research team, a researcher from Auj Oule named Dr. Morgan. He held out a box usually used to contain spirit fossils. “Take a look at this.”

Jude looked into the box. “Sand?”

“It’s what’s left of the spirit fossils we were using in our experiments. We were wondering what happened to the spyrites earlier, right? Well, here’s your answer.”

“No way… even if we used up all of their energy, this shouldn’t happen.” Jude reached into the box and watched as the glittering grains cascaded through his fingers. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

Dr. Morgan smiled. “I have a theory about that, actually. Considering just how powerful that spirit arte from this morning was, it had to draw its energy from somewhere, correct?”

Jude nodded.

“Ohhhh, I see.” Helena spoke up from where she was still sitting. “This arte used our experimental spyrites as fuel. Well then, that’s lovely. Spirit fossils don’t grow on trees, you know.”

Grey didn’t seem satisfied with just that bit of information. “So we’ve got a good theory for what created this spirit arte. That just leaves us with two questions: what was the trigger for it and what did it _do_ , exactly?” He looked over to Jude and Helena. “What did you mean by ‘regressed chronologically’?”

Helena gestured toward Jude. “Ask Dr. Mathis.”

Jude sighed as everyone’s gaze fell to him. “Well, the best way I can think to explain it…” He described Alvin’s current condition as best as he could, though he left out the part where he’d been held at gunpoint.

Morgan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “What you’re describing sounds like the manipulation of time itself. There’s no way we could’ve…”

“When you’ve eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth, right?” Helena offered. “Howe’s Egg Principle. I think it applies here. We’ve somehow accidentally stumbled onto a means of controlling time. It’s as simple as that.”

Now everyone was staring at Helena. She shrugged and went back to studying the channeling circle.

Jude could sense an impending theoretical argument brewing. “Whatever it is, we should take a look at the printed test results before jumping to any conclusions.”

Grey didn’t look happy with the prospect. “The _entire_ stack? That’ll take us all night, at least!”

“Guess we’ll just have three authors’ names when we submit the article detailing how we made a breakthrough in controlling time itself,” Helena offered in a mocking tone. “It would be easier to split the Howe Prize three ways, I suppose.”

Grey sighed. “Fine, fine. The sooner we get started on this, the better. Shall we split up the work, Dr. Mathis?”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Jude answered, feeling relieved. The sooner they were able to get to the bottom of things, the sooner he could help Alvin.

Of course, that was something easier said than done.

 

 

\---

Leia focused on the deck of cards in front of her as she did her best to not betray just how nervous she felt to her opponent across the small table. It was the fifth round of their heated Poker match, and they each had two wins. She figured Alvin was a competent player, but she hadn’t expected things to be so close like this.

Alvin finally set down his cards. “Full house,” he announced calmly.

“Four of a kind,” Leia announced happily. “I win.”

The boy’s eyes widened as he looked down at Leia’s cards and then back at his own. Other than his look of utter disbelief, he was silent.

“So now you have to hold up your end of the bargain,” Leia said solemnly, arms crossed.

Alvin looked up at her reluctantly. “Trust… you?”

Leia nodded.

“Fine.” He said it flatly, clearly not happy about it. “But I want you to answer something for me.”

“Sure, I’ll answer if I can.”

“Do you work for that guy?”

Leia stopped in the middle of shuffling the deck of cards, taken aback by Alvin’s sudden question. “You mean Jude?”

“Yeah, him.”

“Nah, I’m a friend of his.”

Alvin didn’t look convinced. He was looking up at Leia now, an eyebrow raised in doubt. “Really?”

Leia nodded. “Really.”

“Is he your boyfriend, too, then?”

“Huh?!” The cards went flying out of Leia’s hands. She hadn’t seen that one coming. “N-no, of course not! I was just visiting him for the week and…” She had to wonder why she was explaining herself to Alvin, of all people, kid or not. “He’s just my friend, okay?” She finally answered, flustered as she felt her face heating up.

Much to her surprise, the boy covered his mouth as he tried to hide a chuckle. Before long, Alvin was laughing as though it was the first time he’d done so in years, seemingly on the verge of tears.

Leia’s annoyance gave way to confusion as she watched him. She’d seen Alvin laugh plenty of times, but never quite like this. There was something in the way the boy laughed, as though he hadn’t a care in the world. He reminded her of Jude when they were younger. Jude had generally been a pretty quiet kid, but she was proud to say that she’d managed to make him laugh quite a bit every now and then. Even if it usually hadn’t been intentional on her part when it happened.

After he finally caught his breath, Alvin knelt down on the ground and gathered up the cards that had gone flying off the table before standing up and handing them to Leia. “Here,” he mumbled. He was looking away, his expression unreadable from where Leia sat. It was as though his laughing fit had never happened.

“Thanks.” Leia resisted the urge to laugh as she accepted the cards. She wondered if this was what it was like having a little brother. Aside from locking him in a room, that is. “Anyway, it’s getting late. I’ll have to leave you alone for a bit while I go get dinner, okay?”

Alvin nodded.

“Is there anything you want in particular?”

The boy shook his head.

“Okay, then. I’ll be right back.” Leia stood up and reached across the table. When Alvin showed no signs of recoiling away, she patted him on the shoulder. He didn’t look up, but he seemed to relax a bit. “Just sit tight, okay?”

He nodded again.

Satisfied that he wouldn’t do anything crazy while she was gone, Leia left the room. As she double checked the door to make sure it had locked, she felt a wave of guilt wash over her. It still seemed wrong to be locking up Alvin like this.

By the time she returned with dinner, Alvin thankfully seemed to have opened up a bit.

“See? Not so bad, right?”

Alvin swallowed his mouthful of rice. “What is this stuff?”

“Soda rice! You’ve never had it?”

The boy made a face showing his obvious displeasure. “Tastes weird.”

“It was the only thing I could cook on such short notice and with such limited means,” Leia said with a sigh. “How about I bring you a nice big breakfast tomorrow to make up for it?”

“O-okay,” Alvin said uneasily.

“I get it, Alfred.” She reached across the small table and placed her hand over his smaller one. The boy immediately tensed. “Nothing makes sense right now. But I mean it when I say you’re in the company of friends. You promised you’d trust us, right?”

Alvin nodded.

“You should get ready for bed.” Leia put down her chopsticks. “I’ll clean up everything from dinner in the meantime, okay?”

The boy complied quietly. By the time Leia had gathered up all the dishes and returned to the room, he had already tucked himself in. She ruffled his hair fondly before telling him good night. It didn’t seem to take long for him to drift off to sleep, his breathing becoming softer as he turned toward his side. Sleeping like this, he looked so peaceful it was hard to believe he had to be locked up like this. As Leia stepped out of the room, she took one last look at Alvin before closing the door.

 

 

\---

Leia trudged up the stairs to Jude’s office on the second floor. She knocked a few times without getting an answer before opening the door. Inside, she found a rather amusing sight: Jude was slumped forward on his chair, his head pillowed on his crossed arms on his desk. Covering the desk itself was a mess of papers.

She crossed the room, stopping next to Jude’s chair. His hair was longer now and messier, too. Leia wondered if he was spending too much time working to even bother to keep his hair tamed anymore. She remembered how he used to fuss about it when they were kids, especially any time his mom gave him a haircut.

“Jude?” She shook him lightly.

“Mmmph… Leia?” Jude mumbled. A few seconds passed before he practically leapt out of his seat. “W-wait! Did I fall asleep?!” He looked around frantically before noticing the mess of papers on his desk. “Oh no! They’re out of order now!”

Leia watched as Jude hastened to put the numbered pages back in order. Once he was done, he looked notably relieved. Finally, he looked up at Leia.

“Er, sorry about that. Just… going over test results.”

Leia laughed. “Geez, Jude. You should get some sleep or something.”

He shook his head. “I can’t. Somewhere in these test results is the key to getting Alvin back to normal. Or at least figuring out what’s happened to him in the first place. I have to…” He yawned. “Have to get through all of this tonight.”

Leia looked over at the stack. “All that?! I know you like reading, Jude, but even for you this seems like a bit much.”

“It’s fine,” Jude insisted.

Noticing an empty spot on the edge of the large desk in front of Jude, Leia sat down. “Just don’t kill yourself, okay? I don’t think Alvin’s in any mortal danger, at the very least.”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because Jude closed his eyes and practically faceplanted into his desk. “That’s the thing, though! I can’t even say for sure if he isn’t in any mortal danger! I mean, assuming he turns back to normal eventually, I’m not sure what the transformation process itself would be like. Either the process just reverses itself neatly, or… or…” He shook his head, which would’ve been an amusing sight from where Leia was sitting, were if not for the situation.

She put her hand on his shoulder. “Calm down. I mean, I’m not an expert on spirit artes or anything, but I’m sure Alvin will be fine. You work on figuring out how to get him back to normal and I’ll work on keeping him out of any trouble, okay? No point in stressing yourself out over details you don’t understand yet.”

Jude sat up again and turned to Leia. “You’re right. Sorry to freak out on you. I just feel like this is all my fault.” He sighed. “I’ve been so arrogant. Graduating so early like this; everyone calling me doctor now. Even Rowen and King Gaius were perfectly willing to give me funding for this place. I think I started to believe that I could do anything. If I’d just been more careful with how I went about these experiments…”

“And what if you had?” Leia asked pointedly. “You can’t know for sure how things would have turned out then, so there’s no point in bothering yourself over it.” She smiled. “Try to at least be proud of everything you’ve accomplished.” She punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Or else!”

Jude laughed lightly as he rubbed his shoulder. “Okay, okay. I’ll try.”

“At the very least, I managed to get Alvin to cooperate and go to sleep.”

“He’s calmed down that much?”

“A little bit?” Leia thought for a moment as she tried to figure out the best way to put things. “He doesn’t seem to mind me, I guess? Pretty sure he’s still hiding a lot from us, but at the very least he’s being more cooperative.”

Jude let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear.” He smiled up at Leia. “Thanks again. I know this is a lot to ask of you…”

“Don’t worry about it! I told you, he’s my friend, too.” Even if it was hard to look at him whenever they were in the same room, Leia believed what she said firmly. “So I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early, right?”

“Early would be good. I’ll go check on Alvin throughout the night just to make sure he’s okay.”

“Sounds like a plan!” Leia hopped off the desk. She patted Jude on the shoulder one more time. “Remember: don’t kill yourself staying up, okay?”

“I won’t,” Jude reassured her. “I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that, then!” And with that, Leia left.

 

 

\---

“Please tell me you have an extra beef bowl with you…” Jude said almost longingly as he led Leia down the first floor hallway of the lab.

“Sorry,” Leia clutched the boxed breakfast close to her chest. “I promised Alvin I’d bring him a big breakfast.”

“I guess he’s still a growing boy…” Jude looked dejected.

“He is. Well, hopefully he doesn’t have to go through the entire process again. And don’t tell me you haven’t eaten all night. I would’ve picked up an extra bowl if you’d told me.”

“Between reading through all those test results and checking on Alvin every so often, I was only able to have a snack or two,” he answered sheepishly. “Maybe I’ll step out after we check on Alvin.”

They both stopped at the door. Jude opened it slowly, calling to Alvin as he entered the room. “Alfred? We’ve brought you breakfa-”

The room was empty, a slight draft blowing a bedsheet dangling from a high window.

“W-what the…” Leia uttered in shock as Jude dashed toward the window.

He jumped up and grabbed the top of the window sill to give himself some leverage to examine the slightly opened window. “Damn it!”

Leia set the packaged breakfast down before joining Jude at the window. “Did he…?”

Jude looked pale. “Looks like we really underestimated Alvin. He... he's escaped.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be fun. The misadventures of 11-year old Alvin, pretty much.


	3. Alfred (1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long delay between chapters. Rest assured that every scene in this chapter has been rewritten 3 times at the very least. Perfectionism and self-betaing are not the best combination. Despite all that, getting this chapter right has made all the rewriting worth it!
> 
> In any case, here's chapter 3. I hope the way I'm using names here (specifically Alvin's) isn't confusing. The first part is a flashback, and the name usage there is intentional. I also realized that I put a flashback within a flashback... woops. Oh well. Semester's over and my brain is fried. Regardless, I was determined to get this posted as soon as possible.

**-12 years ago-**

Alfred fumbled with the lock, hands shaking to the point that it was all he could do to not drop the keys. Once he finally managed to get the door open, he stepped quietly into the room before letting the door close slowly behind him. The last thing he wanted to do at the moment was disturb the room’s other occupant. He left his boots at the door before crossing the room to where its one major piece of furniture stood securely against the wall: a simple wooden bed. Its occupant still seemed to be asleep as the covers still lay undisturbed.

Letting out a sigh of relief, he slowly removed his jacket.

_“How long has she been like this?!” He practically yelled, voice steadily rising._

_His uncle shrugged. “Awhile.”_

_“And you never thought to tell me?!”_

_Gilland sneered. “I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of son wouldn’t notice when his own mother had fallen ill.”_

_“How the hell could I have noticed, with the way you’ve kept her locked away lately?!”_

_“I was keeping her safe.”_

_“Bullshit!” Fists clenched and jaw set tight, Alvin was barely holding himself from lunging at his uncle. Just once, he thought to himself, he’d like to wipe that smug look off his uncle’s face. But not right now. Not when his mother’s life was on the line like this._

_His uncle, seemingly unaffected by his outburst, turned to him. “Do as you see fit, then. I no longer have any use for her.”_

_“You’re damn right you don’t.” He turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. One thing was clear: he needed to get his mother as far from here as possible._

The sound of someone stirring under the bed’s covers snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Alfred…?”

Everything else forgotten, he pulled up the well worn chair next to the bed.

“Mom… you’re awake?”

It was hard to even tell someone was lying in the bed with the heavy blanket pulled up so far. He pulled the chair up closer as he carefully pulled back the bed’s covers. At the moment, it was all his mother could do to sit up slowly. She turned toward him, seemingly looking through him rather than at him.

“Mom—”

“Where is he?” She asked, looking directly at Alfred now.

“Huh?”

She was looking around the room frantically, now. “My son. Where is he…?”

A sharp feeling of panic rose in Alfred’s chest. He’d thought that bringing her to somewhere like Xian Du would help her get better, but she hadn’t improved at all over the past few weeks. If anything, she seemed to be getting worse. He could feel her slipping away each day that passed and there was seemingly nothing he could do to stop it.

“I’m… I’m right here,” he whispered, covering her hand at the side of the bed with his own.

His mother shook her head fervently. “I told him not to run off…”

“Mom…”

His mother gazed back at him… the lack of recognition all too obvious. “Have you seen my son, by any chance? He’s about six years old. If he’s run off again…”

“I’m…” he tried to get out, his throat suddenly dry.

She sighed. “His father was always saying he’s too soft for a boy his age… He’ll be late for school if I don’t find him soon…”

Images of the people he’d killed up until now flashed through his mind. He remembered how his hand had stopped shaking by the third time. How quickly he’d become used to watching people die right in front of him. Even if his mother wasn’t slowly losing her mind, would she recognize him right now? The question had been gnawing at him for awhile.

He was pretty sure he’d known the answer for awhile, though.

A bitter laugh escaped him. “Don’t worry, he’s… your son’s okay.”

He smiled up at his mother as he thought over what he was about to say.

“Alfred’s away at boarding school, remember? He left last month.”

His mother looked back at him, recognition finally setting in. “He is…? Oh, right. I remember, now that you mention it… Poor Alfred, I hope he doesn’t think I’ve abandoned him.”

Alfred shook his head. “He’s fine. In fact, a letter arrived from him just this morning. I can read it to you now, if you’d like.”

“Oh, it did?”

He hadn’t seen his mother’s face light up like that in years.

He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and pretended to read from it. As he related the story of young Alfred’s adventures in boarding school, he watched his mother’s expression soften into one of relief. Years of practice had made coming up with a false story on the fly easy, it seemed. Even to his own mother, lying was pretty much second nature by now. He almost felt proud in some bizarre, messed up way. Once he was finished reading the “letter,” he put it down slowly as he watched his mother carefully.

“Thank you…” she said earnestly, a smile lighting up her worn features.

He nodded slowly. “I’ll let you know if anymore letters arrive.”

“But I’ll have to write him a response, soon...”

“You should get some rest, first. It’s been a long day, hasn’t it?”

“You’re right. I’ve been feeling so tired lately…” She settled slowly back into bed and pulled the covers back up over herself. She turned toward Alfred. “You’ll help me write a response, then?”

“Of course,” Alfred answered, already planning out the rest of the ruse.

“Thank you.” With that, she was asleep in a matter of minutes. Even in her sleep she looked content – far happier than Alfred had seen her in months.

He remained at side of the bed, fists clenched so hard he could feel his palms bruising.

If that’s how things had to be…

Eight years. Eight years since he’d been dropped into this hell. He couldn’t blame his mother for wanting to live in the past after everything she’d been through. Hell, sometimes he wished he could, too.

His home felt like it existed in another lifetime, at this point.

And maybe it did.

If his mother wanted to remember Alfred that way, he’d do everything he could to make sure she did. It was the least he could do for her after everything. He would let her have her Alfred.

“Alfred” had died a long time ago, after all.

\---

  **-Present-**

It had been easy at first. Faking sleep was something that he’d learned quickly over the years. All he’d had to do once he was sure he’d fooled that doctor was to tie a few sheets together, break the window latch, and slip out. After that was simply a matter of putting as much distance between himself and his captors.

Luckily it had been the girl watching him for most of the day instead of _him_ — Jude or whatever his name was. Something about him set Alvin on edge. He couldn’t be that much older than him, but he was sharp. Too sharp. And something about the way Jude looked at him whenever he spoke threw Alvin off. He couldn’t quite explain why.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t really planned much after that. Fennmont was a huge city, it turned out, and while he’d been here before, he hadn’t realized just how massive it was. Not to mention strange. Even though it was supposed to be morning, the sky was dark and the moon was out. He’d heard about that, too – something about spirit climes – but it still didn’t make any sense. Rieze Maxia always managed to surprise him, no matter how much he thought he was starting to get used to it.

After running for a good ten minutes or so, he stopped to take a break and catch his breath. As far as he could tell, no one was looking for him yet.

“Are you lost?”

Alvin nearly jumped. He turned around slowly, expecting the worst.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

The voice belonged to an old woman in what looked like a hospital gown that was sitting down on a bench only a few feet away. Alvin wondered if he was losing his touch if he hadn’t even managed to notice her.

“I-it’s okay,” he said, trying to keep the edge off of his voice. He looked up with a smile. “I was just surprised, that’s all.”

The woman practically giggled. “To think I could sneak up on a boy. Even by accident.”

Alvin glanced around quickly. There weren’t that many other people out this early, it seemed. None of the guards in armor he’d seen stationed here and there throughout the small part of the city he’d run through.

“Are you lost, by chance?”

He shook his head fervently. “N-no! I’m just…” For once, a lie didn’t immediately spring forth in his mind.

“It’s fine, you know. We all get lost sometimes. Did you get separated from your parents?”

Alvin shook his head, wanting to cut this conversation as short as possible. It made him nervous when people asked so many questions.

“To be honest, I’m a bit lost, myself.”

“H-huh?” He hadn’t expected that.

“It’s a long story that I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear. So how about you tell me where you’re trying to go, instead?”

Alvin tensed up a bit before answering, “I’m, um… trying to go home.”

“Oh? Is home far from here?”

Alvin nodded.

The woman considered Alvin’s answer for a moment. “So you’re looking to head out of town, then?”

“I’m… trying to get back to my mother,” he answered, for once being honest.

“Ah, I see…” The woman seemed to be briefly lost in thought before looking back up at Alvin. “My own son passed away not too long ago.” She paused as she nervously fidgeted with her gown. “I can only imagine how worried your mother must be.”

Alvin couldn’t think of what to say. Thinking of his mother right now only made his heart pound faster. Not being able to keep watch on her was one of the worst parts of this whole ordeal. He was about to turn away when the woman spoke up again.

“Here, you can have this.” She was holding out a small pouch. “To help you get home.”

“Huh?”

The woman smiled. “It’s not much, unfortunately… but it should be enough to help you out.”

Alvin hesitantly stepped closer and accepted the pouch. The heavy jingle of coins as it touched his palm made it all too obvious what it was.

He looked back up at the woman, eyes wide. “I… I don’t think I should—”

“Nonsense. It’s not like I have much use for money these days. Use that gald to help you get home to your mother.”

“Thanks…” Alvin mumbled as he averted his gaze, his cheeks turning pink. His mind was racing, trying to figure out if there was a catch somewhere here. Was she working for those people who’d captured him? Or…

“And if you’re leaving Fennmont, a word or two of advice.”

He looked up again, still bewildered.

“You can take Bernauer Highroad southeast to Sharilton, though it’s not exactly the safest road. The seahaven would really be your best bet, really. It’s only a short way away from here, past the medical school. The amount I gave you should cover a trip to Auj Oule at the most.” The woman stopped to think something over before continuing. “You’ll want to avoid Fezebel Marsh to the north at all costs, though. It’s terrible for almost the entire year and the monsters lurking there are even worse, I hear. It’s a shame, too.” She sighed. “It was a beautiful place before that tsunami over 20 years ago…”

Alvin froze. “Twenty years ago…?” He knew what she was referring to, of course.

“It was quite a bit before your time, I’m afraid.” She smiled, looking almost apologetic. “At the very least it ended that horrible battle going on at the time. But to see that beautiful place become what it is today…”

That couldn’t be right. That had happened five years ago… not six. That much he was sure of.

“There… there hasn’t been another event like that since, has there?”

The woman shook her head. “Oh heavens no. I’d certainly hope nothing as terrible as that ever happens again.”

“Is that so…” Alvin felt dizzy, all of a sudden. Was this old lady just mistaken? No, she seemed fairly confident in her account of events. He thought back to the way his captors had treated him. The way they’d avoided telling him where they’d found him. How they’d repeatedly asked him the last thing he remembered. And how he had no memory of ever being captured in the first place. He clutched his head as though in pain, trying to recall the past few days.

“Are you okay?”

The old woman’s voiced sounded as though it was miles away. Alvin shook his head, feeling sick all of a sudden. She couldn’t be right. There was no way. It didn’t make any sense.

Without another word, he ran off. Somewhere in the back of his panicked mind he thought back to what the woman had said about the seahaven. If he could just make it there, he could find a boat to take him where he needed to go. Or as close to there as he could get. He could hear the woman calling his name, but he ignored the voice and the sickening feeling of guilt welling up in his stomach as he focused on what lay ahead.

\---

Jude breathed a sigh of relief as he closed the locker where he’d stored Alvin’s gun.

“Well, he probably isn’t armed with anything especially dangerous, at least.”

“That makes me feel… somewhat better,” Leia admitted from the doorway. “But that still leaves finding him.”

“I know, I know.” Jude leaned against the now closed locker, the metal cool against his forehead. His heart was still racing in his chest. Every second they spent here was time not spent looking for Alvin. But where would they even begin?

“Jude, calm down…”

Upon feeling an arm on his shoulder, Jude looked up to see Leia’s reassuring smile.

“We’ll find him, even if we have to turn over ever rock and every tree in Fennmont!”

Jude laughed uneasily. “That would take days…”

“Well…” Leia rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Hopefully we find him before too long?”

Jude turned back to the locker. “I have a bad feeling about this… but I can’t stand around here moping all day.” He took off his lab coat and hung it on the wall. “Who knows what’ll happen… we should probably be ready for a battle if it comes down to it.”

“Already got my staff,” Leia assured him.

After that, it didn’t take long to make proper preparations. The tentative plan was to split up and search the city quickly. If that didn’t turn up anything, they’d probably resort to enlisting the help of the city’s guard. Not that Jude liked that idea much. It made him nervous thinking about what would happen if Alvin were to have a confrontation with one of them. Jude had underestimated him enough already. Even without a Lilium Orb, he’d already proven to be pretty deadly.

Just as they were heading out, the door to the room opened on its own.

“Helena?”

Jude’s lab assistant seemed surprised as she looked between the two of them.

“Ah, so that’s what’s going on.” She nodded as though having come to some conclusion.

Jude blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I dropped by Talim earlier to pick up some materials to help with our little project. When I got there, the nurses were in a panic. Turns out that Ms. Grant snuck off again.”

Jude sighed. “Again? I was always worried she’d sneak off during one of our examinations here…”

“That’s not the interesting part, though.” A smile slowly crept across Helena’s face. “I joined the search for her and, thankfully, we found her before too long. When we found her, though, she mentioned running into a young boy…”

Jude could feel his heart skip a beat. “Y-you don’t mean…”

Helena crossed her arms. “Her description sounded awfully familiar.”

“W-well…” Jude hadn’t told his team about Alvin’s escape yet.

“Alvin kind of escaped,” Leia admitted before Jude could stop her. “We were about to go look for him, in fact.”

“Leia!” Horrified, Jude turned to her.

“There’s no point in hiding it.” Leia shrugged. “The more people know, the more help we can get, right?”

“Did Mrs. Grant say where Alvin went?”

Helena considered Jude’s question for a moment. “She said it looks like he ran for the seahaven. He was looking for a way out of Fennmont.”

“Then let’s go, Leia.” Jude made to head out the door until Helena grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.

“Wait, Jude.” Her former jovial expression had turned serious. “Mrs. Grant seemed… bothered by the whole encounter. She said the boy looked panicked as he ran off. As though he’d been frightened by something.”

That didn’t sound good. Jude wondered what could be going on. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Helena.” And then something occurred to him. He looked to Helena. “Oh, and uh… if anyone asks…”

Helena’s smile was back. “I’ll be sure to keep the other two in the dark about this. Wouldn’t want to distract them from the task at hand, after all.”

“Thanks again…” Jude smiled sheepishly before heading off.

“Yeah, thanks!” Leia answered as she followed Jude out the door.

\---

The sailor manning the ticket stand shrugged. “No boats are going out from the seahaven for the rest of the day. There’s a really bad storm to the northeast of us right now. Probably not gonna start moving until tomorrow.”

Jude felt a wave of relief wash over him. That was one crisis averted. He’d been prepared to hop on a boat and chase Alvin down to the ends of the world if needed, but luck appeared to be on his side today.

Leia seemed relieved, too. “So no one’s boarding any boats at all?”

The man shook his head. “No passengers.”

Considering they didn’t have much time to spare, Jude jumped to the next question on his mind. “Have you by chance seen a child come by? Someone maybe around 12 or so that was looking to get on a ship?”

The man at the booth considered Jude’s question for a moment. “Hmmm, now that you mention it, a kid came by here a little while ago looking to get on a ship to Leronde. He looked pretty pissed when we said none were running. Then he asked one of my colleagues a question and ran off. Looked like he was in a hurry.”

Jude and Leia exchanged looks. There was no doubt that Alvin had stopped by.

“What did he ask about?” Leia asked.

“Can’t remember.” The man yelled over his shoulder. “Hey Walter, what’d that kid that came by earlier ask you about?”

An older man standing off by the edge of the pier turned around suddenly. “A kid? Oh, right. That kid.” He scratched his beard as he tried to recall the conversation. “Something about when the Battle of Fezebel happened. Why?”

The man pointed to Jude and Leia, prompting the older man to walk over to the ticket stand.

“You know that kid?” The man asked gruffly, distrust evident in his expression.

“He’s my friend’s little brother,” Leia answered quickly enough to impress Jude.

Jude nodded to add to Leia’s story. “My brother’s always getting into a lot of trouble.” He laughed nervously. “We’re worried he’s trying to run away from home.”

That seemed like a satisfactory enough response for Walter. “Sounds like quite the predicament. All I can tell you is that he asked me if that tsunami really did hit Fezebel Marsh 20 years ago. He kept asking me to make sure. Hell, he even asked what year it was.”

Everything finally made sense, now. Jude looked over to Leia, who had a similar look of recognition.

“Thanks,” Jude rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “You’ve been a big help.”

As Jude ran off with Leia in tow, he heard the older sailor calling out behind him, “Rain’s headed this way, you know. Might wanna be careful if you’re heading out of town!”

If Alvin was leaving Fennmont, the really only had one good option at the moment. And if they were quick, he only hoped they could head him off before he got too far along the Bernauer Highroad.

\---

The rain was falling so heavily it was impossible to see more than five feet in front of him. His crappy shoes kept sticking in the now muddy road he was attempting to traverse. On top of all that, the falling rain obscured everything in a ghostly mist. The glowing trees planted on the path only served to mock him with their haunting glow in the surrounding haze.

He eventually stopped to get his bearings. Not that there was much to go on in this weather. He probably couldn’t go much further like this, he realized. He’d skipped breakfast and had since only managed to grab a brief bite to eat before heading out of Fennmont. He’d meant to find a place to hide, but he wasn’t sure he even cared anymore.

Had it really been more than twenty years? He couldn’t understand how that was possible, no matter how many times he thought it over.

It was as though the entire world had changed while he was asleep. At least, he assumed he’d been asleep. And if so, for how long? Is that why he’d woken up in that lab? Why that girl Leia and that doctor Jude had seemed to know so much about him but didn’t want to tell him how he’d gotten there? He tried to think back to the last thing he remembered before waking up, but everything was fuzzy. The only recent memory he could recall was his uncle assigning him to start intercepting Commander Gilbert’s letters. After that… nothing. Nothing but a deep, deep fog and a huge gap he couldn’t fill no matter how hard he tried to remember.

And what about his mother? Where was she in all of this? Was she even still alive? If he made it back to the island somehow, would she be there waiting for him? He shivered at the thought of being left alone. In a world that didn’t seem right. Not that it ever had before. Rieze Maxia, with its lush forests and sprawling green fields… people who could use magic as though they were monsters themselves… he shivered again.

That’s when he heard it – a soft growl from only a few feet behind him.

“Shit.” He knew that sound all too well. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. To any monster lurking around in this weather he probably seemed like a nice, easy snack.

He gripped the sword he’d brought along tightly in his right hand as he spun around, ready for whatever was waiting for him in the fog around him.

\---

The Bernauer Highroad was bad enough on a normal day, what with how humid it usually was. When it was raining, it was downright horrible, Leia realized. The path turned muddy pretty quickly and the rain combined with the humidity created a weird fog that hung heavily on the path ahead. As convenient as the storm had been otherwise, she wasn’t sure she appreciated it so much now. She glanced back down the path where she and Jude had split up only a short while ago. Thin fog unfurled along the edges of the road, rendering everything in subdued colors.

“No one here, either…” Leia signed as she mentally crossed off yet another small cave on her list. She remembered Alvin mentioning offhandedly once that he had a thing for secret forts when he was a kid. It was a long shot, but it was pretty much all she had to go on right now.

As she brushed the mud off of her knees and started back on her path, something caught her eye in the distance. In all of the brown and grey of the road’s dreary scenery, a splash of red really stood out.

“Blood…?” Leia knelt down to get a better look before something else caught her attention. “W-what the!”

What was obviously the severed leg of a monster was lying only a few feet away. By the looks of it, it had been sliced clean off by a blade of some kind. It would make sense for Alvin to have armed himself if he was heading out like this, she supposed. It could’ve been some random traveler on the road, but it was the only clue Leia had to go on right now. She stood up and looked ahead, a sudden feeling of dread gripping her.

\---

He couldn’t help laughing, as absurd as the situation was. Of course he’d run into a pack of monsters in the middle of a rain storm while in unfamiliar territory. Something had to balance out his unexpected bout of luck earlier. Shitty luck was something that just seemed to cling to him, after all. As he glanced around carefully, he counted his opponents carefully. Three wolves. He’d killed one earlier before making a run for it, but clearly that one had had friends. And by the looks of it, they weren’t happy.

He winced as he looked down at his left arm. The wound was still fresh and didn’t look like it’d stop bleeding anytime soon. Were it not for his carelessness earlier, he’d be able to take down these three as long as he was careful, but now…

His grip on his sword tightened. It wasn’t really much to speak of. A crappy sword he’d bought at the one shop he’d been able to find on his way out of town with some of the money he’d gotten. But as the only thing keeping him from becoming dinner for these monsters right now, he was pretty grateful. If he could just anticipate the first monster’s movements, a well aimed strike could be enough.

He spun as he noticed movement to his right, catching the wolf mid-lunge with a horizontal swipe. The monster landed past him with a dull thud. It clawed desperately at the ground before collapsing, a pool of blood slowly spreading underneath it. That just left the other two. After watching their partner die so easily, they seemed warier than before.

What he’d give for a gun right now. Picking off these monsters would’ve been far easier, even injured as he was right now. There was only so much he could do with just a sword.

Both of his remaining opponents struck at the same time, forcing Alvin to pick which to strike first. He jumped to the left and tried to catch one mid-lunge only to be knocked onto the ground. Not caring for accuracy, he stabbed frantically while just managing to miss a swipe from its claws. As he rolled off of his now dead opponent, he spun around to anticipate the other monster – but he was too late. It dove at him, knocking him back to the ground and sending his sword spinning out of his right hand.

Pain shot up through his left arm as the wolf dug a claw into his fresh wound. The realization that he could very well die right here was even worse than the searing pain in his arm. All alone like this, in some bizarre world he thought he’d just started to understand. Luck never seemed to stay on his side for long…

He shut his eyes, preparing for the worst. The pain he could handle, but his thoughts drifted back to his mother. He couldn’t just leave her alone like this. He had to do something, anything—

And then suddenly the weight of the monster pressing down on his chest was gone. He heard a girl’s voice cry out.

“Alfred!”

He opened his eyes to see the monster lying dead a few feet away. Standing above it was a girl holding what looked like a staff in her hands. She turned back towards him.

“Are you okay?” She was walking towards him now.

That was when he recognized her. That girl from earlier. So they had been looking for him. Ignoring the pain on his left arm, he scrambled to get back up on his feet. He couldn’t let himself get caught. Not after he’d gotten so far.

“Hey, wait!”

He only managed to make it a few feet before his legs gave way, sending him crashing to the ground. He turned back toward her, right hand scrambling madly for his sword—anything he could find at this point.

“Your arm.” She was approaching him slowly. “Come on, Alfred… just let me see your arm. It’s bleeding pretty badly…”

He backed up until he felt his back hit something hard – a tree that just conveniently had to get in his way. A frantic glance at his left arm revealed nothing but red. He’d been injured just as badly plenty of times before, but right now the sight of it was more than he could deal with. His breath hitched in his throat as he tried to resist the panic rising in his chest.

“Alfred, just hold still for a second.”

She was so close, now. Alvin shut his eyes and braced himself, hating himself for how pathetic he was acting right now. If he’d still had his sword…

“Huh?”

He felt warm hands close over his own. Seconds later, the pain in his left arm started to fade away. He opened his eyes to see the girl lost in concentration. There was an odd, warm light emanating from her hands as the wound on his left arm began to slowly close. He’d heard about this before – spirit artes, as Rieze Maxians called it – but he’d never seen it up close like this. Alvin looked up at the girl in bewilderment.

“Just trust me, okay? That’s all I ask.”

Earnest eyes peered into his own. For once, he found himself actually wanting to believe her words.

He laughed bitterly, wondering how he’d gotten so soft. He quickly yanked his hand away and stood up, doing his best to ignore the way his whole body shook.

“I… I don’t need your help!” He managed to get out. Standing up so fast had made him dizzy, he realized. He glared back at the girl as he tried to stay on his feet. If he could just make a run for it…

“Alfred—”

“I said I don’t need it!” He tried to step back around the tree, but his legs refused to obey. Everything around him started to spin as he tried to move. “I… don’t…” He managed to gasp out before everything went black.

\---

Leia was relieved to find Jude waiting for her at the fork in the road where they’d originally split up over an hour ago. Carrying Alvin back this far had quickly become exhausting. At the very least, she was thankful that the rain had let up on the way here.

“Leia!” Jude was running towards them now, a mixture of relief and worry all too apparent in his expression.

She stopped to readjust Alvin’s position on her back before turning to Jude with an exhausted half grin. “Well, I found Alvin.”

Jude wasted no time in reaching out to help the boy off of Leia’s back. He laid Alvin out carefully on the ground before looking up at Leia. “What happened?!”

“He…” Leia took a moment to catch her breath. “He ran into some trouble.”

His medical training kicking in, Jude did a quick check of the boy’s vitals. “His pulse is steady, which is good. But he’s pretty pale…”

“He did suffer a pretty nasty cut. I healed him up, but that doesn’t account for the blood he’s probably lost.”

Jude nodded calmly. “Let’s get him back to the lab as soon as possible, then. I think he just needs some rest at this point.” He reached out and placed a hand on Alvin’s forehead. “Hang in there, okay?”

Leia wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the light, but there was something in Jude’s tender expression that made her feel like she was intruding on something. She shook her head to refocus her thoughts.

“Okay,” she finally said as she stood up. “Let’s get going.” She wondered if she’d be able to carry Alvin back all to Fennmont. Sure, he was just a kid now, but it was still quite a walk back to the laboratory.

As though reading her mind, Jude slipped an arm under Alvin as he slowly lifted him off the ground. “I’ll carry him the rest of the way.”

She helped Jude get the boy securely onto his back. Once that was done they set off. They walked back to Fennont in silence. Jude looked so intensely focused on getting back to town as soon as possible that Leia feared breaking his concentration if she said something. And in any case, her thoughts kept drifting back to Alvin. As Leia glanced up at the night sky, she tried to ignore the memory of familiar brown eyes filled with terror, staring into her own.


	4. Alfred (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy belated ToX2 day, everyone! Well, if you're in North America.

**-Past-**

Alvin liked to think of his post-mission drinking sessions as a way to wash away his often less than pleasant lingering memories. The amount of alcohol consumed was generally inversely proportional to the success of the aforementioned mission. Not that this was an iron rule: sometimes the successes felt worse than the failures. The worst part was that no matter how much he ran up his tab, he never could get quite as drunk as he’d like. Chalk it up to years of building up tolerance or something. Right now things weren’t going any differently – aside from the pathetic pity party he was holding for himself. That part was definitely new.

He ran a hand through is hair in frustration. Nothing could seem to wash away the mental image of Leia’s body dropping to the ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut. As he brought his hand back down, it brushed the fresh bruise still tender on his right cheek. Courtesy of Jude, naturally.

Not that he blamed the kid.

Did he even have the right to call him that anymore? Thinking back, it was hard to reconcile the helpless boy he’d saved on a whim at Fennmont’s seahaven with the one who had reached out to him, forgiveness all too evident in his tender expression, even after Alvin had almost killed his friend.

Almost? He hadn’t even checked if she was still breathing.

He resisted the urge to retch as he forced that thought down. Leia was fine. With Jude to look after her, he was sure she’d live. Jude would stay and take responsibility for his actions. That was one of the dozens of things that separated him from Alvin.

Alvin shook his head to clear his thoughts. He really was a pathetic mess right now. The prospect of prolonging this fruitless venture no longer appealing to him, he paid off his tab and headed for his room – all the while ignoring the suspicious looks the bar’s other late night patrons gave him as he passed by. He didn’t need a mirror to know he looked like hell.

He stepped into his room ready to pass out the second he hit the mattress when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. By the time his hand was on his gun, a sword was pointed at his throat.

“Seems like all that booze has made you slow on the draw.”

Even in that dimly lit room, he could make out the malicious glint in the crimson eyes of the girl standing before him, her strange but undoubtedly sharp sword held steadily in one hand.

“Funny running into you here,” he managed to get out while keeping his voice steady. Just his luck. At this point, he’d lost track of the number of people who wanted him dead.

“Believe me,” she spat out, “I’d rather be anywhere but here.” She nodded to someone Alvin couldn’t see. “He’s all yours.”

“Al.”

He froze. He’d know that voice anywhere.

There was movement to his right, though he couldn’t even turn his head to follow it with the point of Agria’s blade mere inches from his neck.

“Here to finish me off?” He managed to say it with a smile. At this point, he wasn’t even sure he really minded. If she made it quick and painless, well, he could think of worse ways to die. Whatever Muzét had in store for him was probably worse.

“I’m here with an offer.” Her tone indicated she was here strictly on business. None of that trace of warmth he’d heard back in Kanbalar in what seemed like lifetimes ago, now.

Alvin smirked. “People sure have been making a lot of those lately.”

“This isn’t from me,” she clarified. “His Majesty seems to think you could still be of use to us. He’s agreed to spare your life if you agree to come along with us.” She was standing only a few feet away, slightly behind him to his right. Even in the dark room, he could imagine her look of disdain.

“What if I say I’m not interested?”

“Then I get to tell him my fingers slipped,” Agria answered with a touch of amusement.

Quick and painless. He shut his eyes, wondering how long he’d feel pain if Agria made good on her threat. Even if he managed to draw his gun, he’d be dead before he could so much as pull the trigger. Maybe this was fate. His mother was dead, Milla had sacrificed her life for nothing; even that bastard Gilland had finally bitten the dust. Alvin had pretty much burned his last few bridges and it wasn’t like he was seeing Elympios any time soon. He was about to tell Presa in not so polite terms what her boss could do with his offer, when a voice echoed through his thoughts.

_Come on, Alvin._

“Dammit.” He couldn’t die yet. Not here, not like this. Dying wouldn’t solve a damn thing. Sure, it was the path of least resistance – his preferred route when it came to just about anything in his life. But this time… He nodded minutely in Presa’s direction. “Fine.”

“Fine?” She sounded relieved, though Alvin wasn’t sure if he was just imagining things.

“I…” It’s not like he had anywhere else to go. “I’ll go with you.”

“I’d be more inclined to believe you if you weren’t armed,” Agria sneered.

He took his hand off of his gun and raised both hands into the air. “Happy?”

“Stand down, Agria. I’ll take care of this.”

Agria reluctantly withdrew her weapon before turning to Presa. “And who’s to say he won’t betray us again?”

“Don’t worry.” Presa stepped behind Alvin. “If he’s stringing us along _this_ time, he knows full well he’ll regret it.” She stepped forward and slid both arms around his neck. When she spoke again, he almost jumped. “Isn’t that right, Al?”

He wasn’t sure if she was going to snap his neck or what. Alvin opted for simply nodding as an answer.

“Good.” With that, she tenderly ran a gloved finger over his bruised cheek. A few seconds later, he felt a surge of relief. “Better?” She asked.

“Y-yeah,” he managed to gasp out.

Instead of stepping back, she pulled him close to whisper in his ear. “Come on, Al. We know about what happened in Hamil.” She paused to let that sink in. “I don’t get you, I really don’t. The way you can just throw everything away in a heartbeat.”

For once, Alvin was at a loss for words as she pulled back.

“Let’s get outta here, then,” Agria said as she gestured toward the door.

Wordlessly, Alvin followed the two of them out of the inn.

Presa’s words lingered in Alvin’s mind as they made the slow ascent up the Nia Khera Hallowmont. He couldn’t stop dwelling on that moment after their fight when Jude had held out his hand to him. What if he’d simply taken it? What would have happened then? He tried shrugging it off; no point in regretting the past. There wasn’t anything he could do about it, at this point.

Or so he’d thought until his body seemingly moved on its own and he found himself standing between his friends and Agria. Another betrayal, he mentally noted, as Presa turned toward him, the look on her face something between disappointment and acceptance. It had all come down to a single choice, and in the end he’d chosen Jude and his friends over his past. The significance of this decision didn’t hit him until he watched helplessly as Presa fell to her death, her lips forming words he couldn’t hear over the rush of wind in his ears.

At that moment, he really was ready to throw everything away as he gazed down into the sprawling darkness below.

“Alvin? Are you okay?”

He looked up to see a familiar face. Jude looked apprehensive, though Alvin could still see a trace of forgiveness.

Alvin tried laughing off his thoughts. He probably looked like a mess right now. “I’m fine. Just… kind of got the wind knocked out of me.” He glanced behind Jude at the rest of the group who were all eyeing him warily. “You sure you still want me around?”

Jude nodded and held out his hand. “Come on, Alvin.”

Alvin remembered how before Jude would act shy during moments like this. Now, he seemed to have no problem looking Alvin dead in the eyes. He really had changed, Alvin realized.

This time, Alvin accepted. After Jude helped him up, Alvin kept his gaze averted. “I’ll apologize to Leia.”

“Good.” With that, Jude turned away from Alvin to join the rest of the group.

As Alvin watched Jude’s retreating back, he realized he was feeling more than just gratitude toward the kid. He forced down the thought as he started to follow Jude. One glance back at the cliff edge served as a grim reminder of what awaited those he got too involved with. He’d pay everyone back what he owed them, then make himself scarce. In the end that was probably for the best for everyone.

* * *

 

**-Present-**

Blinding white greeted Alvin upon opening his eyes. As he pushed himself up, his mind struggled to recall where he was. A dull ache in his left arm brought the events of his recent battle rushing back to his mind. That girl had saved him, healed his arm, and then…?

He finally managed to properly sit up as his eyes adjusted to the room. The familiar white walls and clean look told him all he needed to know. After all his work, he’d just ended up back where he’d started.

“How are you feeling?”

The voice coming from the corner of the room he hadn’t noticed nearly made him jump. He turned slowly towards the source of it.

“I’m fine…” The last thing he needed was someone invading his personal space. He rubbed his left arm in annoyance. “Huh?” He could’ve sworn that even when that girl had healed him, there’d still been a shallow wound. But now his arm looked as good as new. He finally looked up at Jude.

“Are you okay?” Jude seemed to be keeping his distance.

“Yeah…” Now that he thought back, that girl hadn’t just helped him out. She’d saved his life. Someone he didn’t even know going through all that trouble just for him. It didn’t make any sense. He looked around the room again. “Where’s that girl?”

“Leia? She had to step out to take care of some errands, unfortunately.”

“Oh.” Alvin couldn’t help feeling disappointed, somehow.

“Does your arm still hurt?”

Alvin flexed his fingers and tried moving his wrist. Everything seemed to be in order. “I think I’m good.” He turned to face Jude, letting his legs hang off of the bed. “You did this?”

Jude nodded. “Leia healed you as best as she could, but there’s only so much you can do working out in the field like that.” He scratched his head sheepishly. “So we brought you back here.”

Alvin looked closer at his arm. It was almost hard to believe how much pain he’d been in before. He’d heard a lot about spirit artes, but he’d never actually trusted them. Now that he’d seen one used like this… well, maybe they weren’t as bad as he’d thought. And now he owed a debt to Leia and Jude as well. The list of people he owed seemed to be getting longer by the day. As for why they’d gone to all this trouble for him… that was something else that had been bugging him. He glanced back up at Jude.

“You said you’ve met me before?”

“It’s more complicated than that…” Jude hesitated before adding, “But first, I owe you an apology.”

Alvin hadn’t been expecting that.

Jude continued. “I’m sorry, Alfred. I should’ve explained everything to you earlier. It’s just…” he shook his head. “I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. So what I’m trying to say is that I don’t blame you for running away like you did.”

Alvin kept quiet. If Jude was willing to provide him information for free, he wasn’t going to stop him.

“So all I ask is that you hear me out. How’s that sound?”

Alvin shrugged. He figured he didn’t have anything to lose. “Sure,” he finally said.

Jude’s explanation was kind of hard to follow. Something about an experiment going awry and causing an accident that explained why Alvin couldn’t remember anything right now. The whole story sounded odd, yet given what he’d been through the past two days, Alvin figured it wasn’t that farfetched. As to whether he believed him, well, he wasn’t ready to just yet.

“Sounds crazy, right?”

“So you know me, but I don’t remember you? How’s that work?”

“Well… you’re usually a lot older,” Jude finally admitted.

Alvin stared back silently. Maybe this doctor was missing a few screws, after all. He wasn’t even 12 yet. What the hell did he mean by ‘a lot older’? Yet as he tried to think back over the past few days, he found himself running into a wall. There was a gap in his memory that shouldn’t be there. His grip on the sides of the bed tightened as he tried to think back to what had happened before he’d woken up in his place. Just like before, he came up empty handed.

“Okay, let’s say I believe you.” He crossed his arms as he looked Jude over. He seemed trustworthy, at least. “What’s that mean for me?”

“How about we both make each other a promise?”

Alvin wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. “Like what?”

“I’ll promise to trust you if you’ll promise to trust me.”

Alvin looked up at Jude skeptically, eyebrow raised. He couldn’t help wondering if Jude was really clever or just naive. Lying while looking straight into someone’s eyes was pretty much second nature for him by now. “I think I can do that.”

“You’re sure?” Jude asked as he stepped closer. “I’m serious, Alvin.”

Alvin nodded, doing his best to look convincing. “I promise!” He held out his left hand, pinky extended. “I’ll ever pinky swear on it.”

Jude couldn’t help laughing as he took up Alvin on his offer. Alvin couldn’t believe his luck.

The moment ended when a knock on the door sent Jude running towards it. Alvin watched him from the bed, marveling at just how easy he was to trick. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but he did know one thing – he still needed a way out of here.

* * *

 

Alvin ran his hand over the new shirt he’d been given to replace his old, torn one. “Where’re we going again?”

“Talim Medical School. It’s just a bit of a walk from here. I need to go pick up some research files.”

So that’s why he’d had to take a bath and get cleaned up. “How come I have to come along?” He was pretty sure he knew the answer.

Jude knelt down and put an arm on his shoulder. “Because I’d feel bad leaving you here like this.”

Eyebrow raised, he regarded Jude suspiciously. “You think I’ll run off again, don’t you?”

“You promised you wouldn’t, right?”

Alvin nodded even as he planned out possible avenues of escape in his head. “I won’t.”

That seemed good enough for Jude. He nodded before standing up and offering his hand for Alvin to take. “Good. I’ll hold you to that.”

Alvin stared up at the hand being offered to him as he did his best to hide his disbelief. The pinky swear had been a good ploy after all. This would be easier than he thought. He took Jude’s hand gratefully while giving his most winning smile.

He noticed Jude smile as soon as he took his hand. He hated that smile. It made him feel kind of guilty for tricking him like this.

The walk to the Talim Medical School wasn’t that long, it turned out. The seahaven was close by, too. It was almost too perfect, he noted with a grin as they turned off of the street toward their destination.

As they stepped into what he assumed was the front hall of the medical school, he was hit with the overwhelming scent of disinfectant. The scene before him shifted to a different hospital: one with tiled floors and white walls that seemed to press in on him. One of his family’s servants – his father was always too busy – led him down the hall and up an elevator to the room that he was told housed his mother. Seeing her sick in bed at home was bad enough. He didn’t want to see her in a place like this. This hospital looked like a place where people went to die, not to get better.

“Alvin?”

Jude’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Alvin looked up to find Jude glancing down at him with concern.

Alvin shook his head to clear the memory. “I’m fine.”

“We’re just going a bit further, okay?”

Alvin nodded silently. He noted the path they took from the entrance to an examination room in the back: through the entrance hall, and down two hallways. Jude led him into a room that looked like it was usually used for patients.

“Do you mind waiting here while I go get what I came here for?”

Alvin nodded slowly.

“Thanks, Alfred. I promise I’ll make it up to you once I’m done.”

Jude patted him on the head affectionately. Usually something like that would piss him off, yet Alvin found himself answering Jude with a goofy grin instead. As annoying as he was, there was something about him that made it hard for Alvin to outright dislike him.

Once Jude had left the room, Alvin waited about half a minute before crossing the room and checking the door. It wasn’t locked. He stared at the lock in disbelief, wondering if someone was waiting on the other side for him before pushing it open anyway. Yet the hallway was mostly clear and no one seemed to pay Alvin any mind as he made his way back to the entrance. He was almost congratulating himself on a job well done until he turned the corner into the front hall.

Standing a mere ten feet away chatting with someone behind the reception desk was Jude. While he wasn’t looking in Alvin’s direction, Alvin was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to sneak past undetected. Jude had pretty sharp senses, despite his naiveté. As Alvin was contemplating how best to come up with a distraction, he noticed Jude turn away from the desk and head for his direction.

“Dammit!” Looking around for something, anything, Alvin ran for the closest door he could find. He slipped into the room and closed the door behind himself, breathing a sigh of relief once he was safely inside. Now if he could just slip past Jude and get out of here…

“Is someone there?”

Alvin nearly jumped. The source of the faintly familiar voice was behind the curtain that divided the room. Whoever awaited him on the other side; he couldn’t care less about at the moment. If Jude went searching for him, he needed to hide and that curtain provided the perfect cover. After stepping through the curtain, he found a familiar face staring at him in bewilderment.

For a moment, he was back in that hospital with the deathly white walls.

_Alfred, don’t you want to speak to your mother?_

_“No!” he wanted to scream. The last place he wanted to be was here in this small room with the strange spyrix that coldly counted down his mother’s life._

“Hello?”

Alvin shook his head, clearing the horrible memory out of his mind. The room’s other occupant was the old woman he’d met the day before. This time she seemed to be confined to a bed, though she didn’t seem to mind that fact too much. He hadn’t realized that people actually enjoyed places like this.

“I’m fine,” he finally managed to reply as he leaned against the table next to the bed to regain his balance.

“I never expected a visitor at this hour. Especially not you.” She shifted on the bed so that she was facing him. “I thought you were leaving town?”

Alvin shrugged. “Something came up.”

The woman chuckled a bit. “You’re quite the mysterious boy, aren’t you?”

“You could say that.” Alvin put his hands in his pockets. It was a defensive tick he’d never been able to shake off. As he did so, his hand closed around the pouch of gald he’d kept on him.

“One would almost think you’re running away from home,” she mused.

Alvin tensed up. “And what if I was?” He tried to tell himself to calm down. It’s not like he had anything to fear from some old bedridden lady.

“I’d suspected something like that was afoot.”

He stepped back in surprise. That had been the last thing he’d expected to hear. “Then why’d you help me?”

“I could tell you weren’t lying about wanting to see your mother.”

Alvin turned away from the bed, his face feeling hot all of a sudden. He wasn’t used to being caught this easily. Maybe he really was losing his touch.

“Look, it’s none of your business,” he blurted out.

“You’re right,” she agreed. “Regardless, I wish you the best in finding your mother.”

It was a pointless endeavor, he was slowly realizing. Even if he managed to reach the seahaven and get to Leronde, what then? He was way out of his league right now. Stuck in an unfamiliar city with hardly any cash and worst of all, hardly any reliable intel – except evidence pointing to him possibly not even being in the right time period. To proceed with his current plan was to keep moving forward blindly like an idiot.

Alvin glanced between the woman on the bed and a vase of fresh flowers sitting on the bedside table.

It wasn’t any of his business, but he spoke up anyway. “You talk like you don’t have family or something.”

“I guess I’m pretty transparent, too,” the woman said with a sad smile. “You guessed right.”

As much as Alvin didn’t care for sentimentality, he felt a twinge of sympathy. As he glanced up, he could see the loneliness etched in her expression. “Well…” He rubbed the back of his head nervously as he tried to think of what to say. “I can always come back or something. I dunno how long I’ll be here, but you helped me out. I won’t forget that.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the pouch of gald. He held it up high so that she could see it. “You can have this back. I won’t be needing it anymore.”

“Are you sure?”

“Uh huh,” Alvin said with more confidence than he felt as he set it down on the table. “I won’t be running away anymore.”

She nodded. “I see. Well, you don’t have to worry. Your secret is safe with me.” She held a finger to her lips for emphasis.

Alvin couldn’t help laughing a bit. She was nice, though he felt bad about possibly lying to her. He had no idea if he really would ever see her again.

“Thanks,” Alvin said with heartfelt sincerity. He turned toward the door and waved as he headed out of the room.

He’d been an idiot this whole time. If Jude was telling the truth – it seemed like all Jude was ever capable of doing – then there was no reason to run away. He probably wouldn’t find anything, in any case. All this time, he’d been assuming Jude was an obstacle he had to get past. But maybe that wasn’t the case, after all. Rather, Jude seemed to be the one with all the answers.

There was one in particular that was hanging heavy on his mind as he slipped back down the hallway and into the room where Jude had initially left him. To his relief, it looked like he hadn’t been caught yet. No one in the hall had really paid him any mind, which seemed like a good sign.

Sure enough, Jude stepped through the doorway only ten minutes later, a heavy file folder under his arms. Alvin could see his face light up as soon as he saw him.

“Sorry for the wait, Alfred. We can go back to the lab now.”

Before Jude could even offer his hand, Alvin stepped forward and took it. He noted the look of surprise on Jude’s face, though he thought it best to not comment on it.

* * *

 

“72 hours,” Dr. Grey proclaimed dramatically. “Well, give or take a margin of error.”

Jude glanced up from the notes spread out before him. “You’re sure about that?”

“It lines up with what I found,” Dr. Morgan answered. “Think of the spirit arte’s effect as a rubber band being stretched. Instead of wearing off gradually, it snaps back all at once. In other words, time returns to its proper flow.”

“Hopefully not with enough force to break the aforementioned rubber band,” Dr. Helena added dryly.

Jude shook his head. “No, I’m pretty certain now that the reversion process is just the reverse of the initial transformation. It shouldn’t cause any harm to Al—the subject.” That he’d made sure of. Every record of a spirit arte of this type had indicated that much, at least.

Dr. Morgan turned to Jude with a grin. “So your friend should be just fine by tomorrow morning. Though he’ll likely be very disoriented.”

Jude felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Alvin would be okay by tomorrow.

The relief only lasted until Dr. Grey sat back in his chair and posed another problem. “Do you think he’ll remember anything?”

Jude sat up straight in his chair. He’d been so busy working on getting Alvin back to normal that he hadn’t even thought of that.

“Would that be possible?” Dr. Helena sounded genuinely curious.

“It’s possible. I think,” Jude answered hesitantly. Part of him hoped that wasn’t the case.

“We’ll know by tomorrow,” Dr. Grey pointed out. “Now if we could just use the data from all of this…”

Jude shot him a warning look. “This _isn’t_ a proper experiment. We didn’t even get the subject’s consent.”

“And what a shame it isn’t.” Dr. Grey turned back to his desk while muttering something about missed opportunities.

“One thing’s bugging me, though…” Dr. Helena said, more to herself than anyone else. “If a spirit arte can affect time itself, does that mean time itself is just another aspect of nature? And if that’s the case, would that mean that somewhere out there, there’s a Great Spirit of Time?”

“If that was the case, I’d hate to imagine how powerful such a being would be,” Dr. Morgan mused.

Jude mostly drowned out the rest conversation of his colleagues as his mind mulled over something else. He wasn’t exactly sure of the best way to break this news to Alvin. He stood up and politely excused himself before leaving the room and heading for the room where Alvin was staying.

* * *

 

When Jude returned, his mind heavy with thoughts of just how to tell Alvin what was going on, he found the boy sitting in his desk chair waiting for him.

“How’re you feeling, Alfred?” he asked in as conversational a tone as he could manage.

“Hungry,” he answered immediately.

Jude couldn’t help laughing. Well, he supposed it had been awhile since they’d had lunch. He crossed the room to his desk and set down the stack of files he’d been hold before turning to Alvin.

“I’ll bring something up in a bit. How’s that sound?”

“Good.” Alvin said with a nod.

Jude set about organizing the files into their proper place on his desk. After a few minutes, he heard Alvin speak up.

“Do you know all of the patients in the Talim Medical School?”

“Not off the top of my head, no,” Jude admitted. “I only work with a few of them.”

“I met this old lady the other day…”

Jude stopped in the middle of filing to glance over at Alvin. “Mrs. Grant? She’s one of the patients involved in the tests we’d been working on in this laboratory. She suffers from severe arthritis, to the point that walking is extremely painful for her.”

“She can’t stay with her family instead?”

Jude shook his head. He wasn’t sure why Alvin seemed so interested in one of his patients all of a sudden. “She used to live with her son here in Fennmont. Unfortunately he was killed not too long ago.”

“Killed?”

“In a spyrix experiment.” He’d been one of the unlucky people floating in those tubes in the Laforte Research Facility, Jude remembered.

Alvin seemed to be deep in thought. “Spyrix, huh…” He looked up at Jude. “So you know, don’t you?”

“I’ve been to Elympios,” Jude answered.

The look of surprise that crossed Alvin’s face was impossible to miss.

“Was I with you then?”

Jude nodded, unsure of where Alvin was going with this.

“I see…” He turned his back to Jude. “Did I bring anyone with me?”

“No…?” Jude answered slowly.

Alvin hopped out of the seat and started pacing in a circle. “You said we can trust each other, right?”

“Yeah,” Jude said hesitantly. He wasn’t sure what Alvin was thinking but he was starting to worry.

“Okay, I’ll let you in on a little secret.” He crossed his arms behind his head and took a deep breath as though preparing himself mentally. “Seven years ago. Wait, no. I guess it’d be 22 years now, wouldn’t it? My mom ended up in the hospital for a few days. For awhile, we weren’t sure she’d make it.”

Jude wasn’t sure of what to say, though it seemed like Alvin wasn’t waiting for a response.

“ She’d always been pretty sick. Ever since I was born, apparently. The doctors were worried for awhile… but after a few weeks, she finally got better. Not long after that, my dad finally took time out of his busy schedule to take us all on a vacation. Sounds nice, right?”

Jude felt a chill go down his spine. He knew where this story was going.

“He’d said some fresh air out on the sea would do her some good. So we went for a cruise on this big, fancy ship.” He turned toward Jude, his expression unreadable. He was standing only a few feet away from Jude now facing the wall.

“And that’s how you ended up here in Rieze Maxia,” Jude said quietly.

“Yeah,” Alvin answered. His arms were both at his side now, his fists clenched tight. “We really are in the future, aren’t we?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s the future,” Jude explained. “It’s more like, you’re in the past.”

“Mom wouldn’t live this long, would she?” Alvin muttered under his breath.

Before Jude could so much as stop him, Alvin punched the wall, hard. He kept his fist in the same position against the wall as he leaned his forehead against it. “Some adult I turn out to be.”

Jude dropped the file he was holding and rushed to Alvin’s side. “Alfred, what in the world are you—”

“Everything you’ve been telling me since this morning… if you know me as well as you say you do, then you should know.”

“Alfred…” The realization of what Alvin was getting at finally hit him.

“That my mom’s dead!” Before he could land another punch, Jude grabbed his arm.

“Stop it, Alfred!”

“Some future this is,” he mumbled. A heavy silence filled the room.

Jude thought back to that night he’d spoken to Alvin in the Xailen Woods Temple. He’d only learned later why Alvin had looked so pained back then. He couldn’t stand to see him go through that again.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Jude assured him as he put his arm around Alvin and pulled him close. To his surprise, Alvin didn’t resist.

“How did she die?” Alvin’s voice came out muffled against his arm.

Jude thought over his next few words carefully. “You took care of her as best as you could.” He couldn’t help but feel responsible for putting Alvin through this.

“Did she suffer?”

Jude shook his head. “No, she didn’t. I promise you, she didn’t.”

Alvin was shaking now. Jude could tell from his occasional sharp intakes of breath and the way that his shoulders were heaving up and down that Alvin wasn’t taking this news well. Without another word, Jude pulled Alvin closer. As he listened to Alvin’s quiet sobs, a sickening feeling of guilt welling up in his stomach threatened to overwhelm him. He’d make things up to Alvin after all of this. Somehow.

* * *

 

Alvin stared down into the cup of tea between his hands, sparse puffs of steam still rising from it every now and then. His left hand still stung a bit, not that he really minded it. The tea was oddly calming as he let his mind settle into a state of numbness. Anything to stop his racing thoughts.

He wasn’t sure how long Jude had quietly stayed by his side. The next thing he knew, he had sitting on the bed again and Jude was pressing a cup of tea into his hands. It was weird, being taken care of like this. Even the servants back home had treated him more like an obligation than anything. Just as he finished off the last bit of tea, the door to the room opened again.

Jude appeared with something white in his hands, his chest heaving up and down. He’d clearly been in a hurry. Alvin noticed Jude’s expression turn from one of exhaustion to relief once their eyes met.

“I know you’ve been through a lot tonight, Alfred.” Jude fidgeted before continuing, “But there’s something else I need to tell you.”

At this point, Alvin couldn’t care less. He lifted his head slightly to regard Jude.

Jude took the tea cup and handed him what turned out to be a white gown for patients instead.

“Huh?”

“Well, in a few hours you’ll go back to normal…”

Alvin narrowed his eyes at Jude. He still didn’t quite get what that meant. “Normal? I don’t get it.”

“What happened earlier wasn’t a permanent process. Like I explained earlier, there was an accident that caused you to become like this. And, well…” He sighed. “That process will be reversing in the next few hours.”

“Will it hurt?”

Jude shook his head. “We’re pretty sure you’ll lose consciousness when it happens.”

“So then I’ll… go back to being who I was?”

Jude nodded.

“So then is that…” Alvin felt oddly calm, despite everything. “Is that like dying?”

He hadn’t expected the look of horror from Jude.

“That’s not…” Jude pulled Alvin into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry…” Alvin heard his apology as a murmur against his ear.

“I-it’s okay,” he said uncertainly as he reached up to put his arms around Jude awkwardly. Alvin usually panicked when someone was this close. Yet this was different, somehow. “I’m not scared, really.”

He felt Jude pull back and take a few steps back. His cheeks were flushed, though Alvin wasn’t sure why he was the one embarrassed. Jude offered him an awkward, hesitant smile. “Mind if I sit down?”

Alvin scooted aside on the bed to give him some space. “Go ahead.” He felt the bed shift as Jude settled next to him.

“You won’t die, Alfred.” He finally said after a long silence.

Alvin tried to think of a response, but nothing came to mind.

“Because you’ll always be the Alvin I know. Even if you don’t remember everything at the moment.”

For some reason he couldn’t quite understand, Jude’s words lifted his spirits somewhat. In truth, he felt far more regret than fear right now. As he looked over at Jude sitting beside him, he realized how much he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay here with Jude. And Leia, too. He wanted to learn more about them, get to know them better, maybe even get to the point that he could actually call them friends. Maybe even trust them, whatever that meant. He wanted to play poker against Leia again. And visit Mrs. Grant so she wasn’t so lonely all the time. He knew that feeling all too well.

“You said we’re friends in the future?”

“More or less.” Jude was blushing again for reasons Alvin couldn’t quite figure out.

Not that he was worried. If that was the case, then maybe the future wasn’t so bad after all. Alvin closed his eyes as he thought back over the past two days. “Like I said, I’m not scared or anything,” he finally said.

“You aren’t?” Jude looked more surprised than anything.

“Yeah.” Alvin let out a laugh before he could stop himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this happy. “And Jude?”

“Yes?”

“Tell Leia I said ‘sorry.’” He fidgeted with his sleeve as he thought of what he wanted to say next. “Oh, and um…” he looked up at Jude, his earlier hesitation gone. “Thanks. For everything.”

* * *

 

When Jude awoke the next morning, his head still pillowed on his arms on the edge of the bed, he found the bed itself empty. He leapt up and looked around the room frantically, fearing the worst. It wasn’t until he noticed the signs of someone having gotten up from the bed that he let himself calm down. If Alvin had woken up before him, then there was only one place where he’d be. He rushed out of the room and down the hall to his office where he’d stored all of Alvin’s belongings. By the time he turned the door handle, all he could hear was his heart pounding in his chest. As he nearly tumbled into his office, he looked up to see a familiar sight.

Standing alone in the middle of the room was Alvin, shirtless and with his back to his door as he worked on buckling his belt.

“Alvin!”

Alvin didn’t answer him until he’d pulled on his shirt. “You sound like you’ve seen a ghost, kid.”

Jude stepped forward hesitantly at first before practically running up to hug Alvin. He knew he was being childish, but he couldn’t help it. Alvin was okay.

“Happy to see you too, kid,” Alvin said with a strained laugh.

Jude couldn’t help but smile as he felt Alvin ruffle his hair fondly. Something didn’t seem right, though. He’d noticed how Alvin had tensed up when he’d put his arms around him.

“Could you give me some space for a sec? At least until I get my coat on.”

Jude stepped back, a blush creeping up his neck. He really was being immature. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Sorry, I just…”

“Thought you’d lost me forever?” Once his coat was on, he finally turned to face Jude, an awkward smile tugging at Alvin’s lips.

“Something like that,” Jude mumbled before looking up at Alvin again. “Um, how’re you feeling?” Jude could feel his heart thumping in his chest as a feeling of dread ate away at him. One question repeated itself over and over again in his mind.

Alvin shrugged. “If I can survive an accident like that, I guess I can survive anything.”

Jude laughed awkwardly as he looked up at Alvin. As soon as their eyes met, he noticed Alvin avert his gaze. Something _was_ off.

Jude finally made himself say the words he’d been afraid to speak, “So then, what… what _do_ you remember?”

The crease in Alvin’s brow was all the evidence he needed.

Jude stepped back in surprise. “You remember everything, don’t you?”

Alvin finally looked back at him, annoyance all too evident in his expression. “And if I do?”

Jude felt guilt well up in his stomach again. He suddenly felt sick. “Alvin… I’m sorry.” He glanced down at the feet.

Alvin stepped past him, expression dark. “Look, let’s just forget about it. Water under the bridge and all that.”

But Jude could tell from Alvin’s tone that he wouldn’t be forgetting it so easily. He noticed Alvin was headed for the door. “Wait, where’re you going?”

“I should be heading back,” Alvin said hesitantly. “To Xian Du, I mean.”

Jude’s heart sank. “Wait, Alvin.” The plan had originally been for Alvin to stay in Fennmont for a week. Not that he could blame him for wanting to leave early after everything that’d happened. He took a step toward Alvin. “Don’t go. Not yet. I still have to check to make sure you’re okay. You might still be—”

“I’m fine,” Alvin said, adding emphasis to the last word. “I get it. You feel like you need to take care of me, right? Poor, poor Alvin and all that.” He shook his head as he opened the door. “Look, Jude. I’m not a kid anymore. Believe me, that part of me died a long time ago.”

With that, he left the room, the sound of the door slamming against its frame echoing ominously in Jude’s ears.


	5. Alvin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never expected this fic to take me a whole year to finish. I apologize for the long wait between updates! It's been a long year of writing and rewriting scenes, but in the end I had a lot of fun writing this. Thank you so much for your patience, everyone. This chapter was my favorite to write and something I built upon gradually as I worked on the chapters before it. So, enjoy!
> 
> Also wanted to thank my awesome beta reader, Rikkuni, for his help on this chapter.

**-Past-**

Two nights after their final battle against Gaius and Muzét, Jude found himself lying in bed, staring at the domed ceiling above him as he futilely attempted to fall asleep. Even after two days of relaxing Nia Khera hospitality, he still had a lot on his mind.

He missed Milla more than he could say. He wished he had gotten a chance to thank her one last time. He’d known her less than a year, yet now that she was gone every day felt emptier somehow. With their journey now over, Jude realized he had the rest of his life ahead of him. He hadn’t really given it much thought over the past few months, and now he found himself once again facing a future full of possibilities.

He’d already resolved to go back to school. There was no doubt about that.

As for the rest of the group, they were all making preparations to go their separate ways. Elize was going back to Sharilton to live with Driselle. Rowen wanted to help Gaius rule a united Rieze Maxia. Leia had said something about wanting to go back to Leronde to figure things out. And Alvin…

Jude hadn’t asked him. In truth, he was afraid to hear his answer. In about twelve hours they’d all go their separate ways; Alvin probably doing a mock salute before heading down the road and disappearing from Jude’s life. Over the past few days Jude had told himself that maybe he was fine with that. Alvin had his own problems to sort through. He probably didn’t need Jude tagging along to complicate things. As much as Jude still wanted Alvin in his life, he wasn’t sure if Alvin felt the same way.

In the past, Jude would have just left things at that. But now Jude was convinced that as long as he still had time, he couldn’t give up. For those close to him who were still within reach, Jude was determined to not give up.

He got up slowly from his bed in the small in room, making sure not to disturb Rowen. As soon as he slipped outside, he relaxed and took a quiet stroll around the village. Based on past experience, he knew that he wasn’t the only one who would be awake at this time.

Jude found Alvin standing in the empty garden patch usually occupied by rappigs and piggits. He couldn’t count how many times he’d seen Alvin out at night like this while everyone else was asleep. It made him wonder if Alvin ever got a proper night’s rest. Yet sure enough when Jude awoke in the morning, Alvin would be in the bed next to his sleeping as though he’d been there all night.

Back then, Jude had always left Alvin to his own thoughts. Interrupting him seemed rude, especially since Jude knew that there was probably a lot keeping Alvin awake. Or maybe Jude had been making excuses all those times. He wouldn’t let this last chance pass him up.

“Alvin?” Jude didn’t bother trying to sneak up on him. He knew Alvin could hear him approaching.

“Hm?” Alvin didn’t bother turning around.

“You seem surprisingly unconcerned about someone sneaking up on you so late,” Jude said with a hint of amusement.

“Here? In Nia Khera?” Alvin laughed. “I think I’d be more likely to die from boredom.”

Jude stopped next to him on the small field overlooking the stream that cut through the village.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Something like that,” Alvin admitted. “It’s more habit than anything at this point, you could say.”

Jude didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he let himself take in the quiet village and the calm night. The moon was only a crescent, giving off just enough light to see by. The only sound in the sleeping village was that of the stream winding its way through the darkness spread out before them.

“Where are you headed after here?” Jude asked, hoping he didn’t sound too invested in getting an answer.

“Xian Du.” Alvin answered with a shrug. “I have some unfinished business to take care of.”

Jude wondered if it had to do with his mother. He figured it was better not to ask. “I’m sure you can guess where I’m headed.”

“Fennmont, of course.” Alvin slid an arm around Jude’s shoulder affectionately and pulled him close. “What’s an honor’s student if he doesn’t graduate, right?”

Jude laughed lightly. “You’ve got me all figured out.” He was going to miss this. After all these months of traveling together, he’d gotten used to Alvin casually invading his personal space like this. He couldn’t say he even minded it anymore. “Xian Du to Fennmont is a pretty long trip, isn’t it?”

Alvin pondered Jude’s question for a moment. “You can make the trip in one night if you start off from Xian Du in the evening and catch a late ship from Lakutam Seahaven, actually.”

“Oh,” was all that Jude could think to say. It sounded like Alvin was actually seriously considering such a trip. “Well, it’s not like I’m asking you to visit me or anything…”

“Glad to finally be rid of me for good, huh?” Alvin laughed, but Jude caught a hint of doubt in Alvin’s voice.

“Of course not,” Jude answered honestly. He closed his eyes for a moment as he forced the next few words out of his mouth. “Actually, Alvin. There’s something I need to ask you.”

There, he’d finally said it. After dithering on the matter for weeks, he’d finally taken a step forward. Now he just had to bring himself to actually ask the question on his mind. He’d only rehearsed this in his head a couple dozen times by now.

In those scenarios, the outcome was always different. In one, Alvin would give him a pitying smile and tell him that he was flattered, but Jude would always be just a cute kid to him. Sometimes Alvin would laugh, ruffle his hair, and write him off as simply young and confused. He’d grow out of it, Alvin would say. And other times, he would just flat out say he wasn’t interested, leaving Jude feeling like an idiot for even asking. The few times Jude imagined Alvin saying “Yes,” his mental image of the scenario stopped there.

“Hm? Ask away, I’m an open book.” Alvin grinned.

“Oh please. You’re never an open book.”

As close as they were, he felt more than heard Alvin’s laugh in response.

“You’re right. But I promise I’ll answer honestly this time. As a parting gift.” Alvin’s tone was unusually sincere.

This was it, Jude told himself. All he had to do was say it. Just a few simple words.

“Do you…” he trailed off, frustration bubbling up in his chest as he tried to force the words out. Even after everything he’d been through, his tongue was refusing to obey him. He’d faced down death more times than he could count, yet this was still somehow more frightening.

Jude tried again. “Um, what I meant to say is, I… er. I was wondering if you…” He could feel his entire face heating up. He was doing a fine job of embarrassing himself already.

He felt cold air around his neck again as Alvin pulled his arm away.

“You okay, kid?”

Before Jude could so much as think of how to answer, he felt the warm skin of Alvin’s hand on his forehead. His mind raced as his words got caught in his throat.

“Cat got your tongue?” Alvin’s hand strayed upward and Jude closed his eyes as warm fingers slid idly through a few strands of his hair.

Having Alvin this close, it was hard to think properly.

“T-that’s not it.” Jude finally managed to get out.

“Uh huh,” Alvin said, clearly not convinced. “You sure you aren’t running a fever? I’ve never been good at gauging this type of thing.”

Alvin was staring at him intently now, face only inches away and his hand on Jude’s forehead as he leaned down slightly to get a better look. Jude could feel his heart hammering away in his chest. He had to say something. _Anything_.

“Jude?” Concern was clouding Alvin’s expression now.

Before he could stop himself, Jude closed the distance between them in what turned into an awkward kiss. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was wondering if he’d gone crazy, though the concern seemed almost trivial now; what with the way Alvin was threading his fingers through Jude’s hair while trying to get a better angle. Jude had never kissed anyone before. At least, not like this. Not like he’d really meant it.

He pulled back after what seemed like an eternity, heart pounding heavily and face burning hot against the cool night air. Why kissing Alvin had been easier than asking him, he had no idea. If he wasn’t still in shock over the fact that he’d just had his first real kiss, he’d be laughing right now. Almost too afraid to face Alvin at this point, he forced himself to open his eyes.

Alvin looked anything but composed. His face was a mixture of surprise and something Jude couldn’t quite identify. Just as Jude started to wonder if he’d gone too far, Alvin pulled him close for a rougher, deeper kiss. Maybe he hadn’t been so out of line, Jude thought faintly as he felt Alvin’s fingers warm against his own burning skin. He grabbed Alvin’s collar in both hands to pull him closer. A shiver ran down his back as he felt Alvin’s tongue brush against his.

When Alvin finally pulled away slightly, just far enough to leave Jude a little breathing room, Jude found himself speechless. Alvin didn’t pull his hand away, settling for staying where he was.

“Didn’t expect that.” Alvin finally answered breathlessly.

Jude let out a nervous laugh, still giddy despite the embarrassment. “S-sorry?”

He could feel Alvin’s light chuckle this close. “For kissing me? That’s a new one.”

Jude tried to focus his gaze anywhere but at Alvin’s amused grin, though it was hard to at this distance. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to spend more time together,” Jude finally managed to get out; so fast that his words were almost unintelligible.

He expected Alvin to laugh. Or at least to assume his usually sarcastic tone and mock him for it. Instead, Alvin pulled back, eyebrows furrowed in a mix of doubt of surprise. “With me? You sure, kid?”

Jude nodded.

“I’m not exactly the best boyfriend material.” Alvin laughed, but Jude could see the doubt lingering in his eyes.

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Alvin’s shoulders, pulling him in this time. “Completely sure,” he said before pulling Alvin in for another enthusiastic kiss.

* * *

 

**-Present-**

_Alfred still remembered how the rattling of the gun in his shaking hands had filled his ears. The bitter taste of bile still fresh on his tongue, he glanced down at the boy he’d once called his friend. The boy who was now staring up at him, eyes blank as blood poured out of the wound in his chest._

_It had been necessary, his uncle had told him. In Exodus, this is what happens to traitors._

_And with Exodus’s former commander Gilbert dead, Alfred knew who would be calling the shots from now on._

_He had simply nodded and wiped away the blood on his cheek. The threat in his uncle’s voice had been all too clear:_

_This is what will happen to_ you _as well._

The hangover Alvin was anticipating the next morning would have been bad enough. He’d been hoping for at least having the luxury of sleeping in and maybe rolling out of bed sometime mid-afternoon before slinking off to another bar for yet another round of heavy drinking.

That had been the plan, at least, until someone ripped the sheets from his bed.

“Rise and shine!”

His only response was a groan as he turned away from his unknown assailant. It was too early for this. Way too early.

“Geez Alvin, you look like a mess.”

This was definitely the last person he expected to hear in his room in the morning. He cracked open one eye to find Leia standing beside his bed, high thread count blanket still in her hands.

“Guess we’ll have to get you cleaned up first…” Leia mumbled to herself as, much to Alvin’s horror, she started advancing on the bed toward him.

If his head were pounding less, he’d have a witty retort. As things were, he futilely attempted to roll away.

Leia grabbed his arm. “Not so fast! I’ve got years of experience waking up inn guests. So don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you.” Her manic grin wasn’t entirely reassuring.

After drinking two glasses of water, Alvin actually felt somewhat less like a corpse. Memories of the past few days still lingered in his mind, try as he might to push them away. He definitely needed another drink. Though it looked like he wasn’t about to get one as Leia stood over him by the side of the bed. There was no doubt that she used to work at an inn.

“Why are you here again?” He finally asked wearily.

Leia wagged her finger at him as though he was still a kid. “That’s not the important part. We have to get you cleaned up!”

“For what?”

“You’ll see!”

Before he could so much as protest, Leia was hauling him toward the bathroom. One bath later (Leia respectfully stepped out of the room until he had finished changing) and Alvin was actually presentable again. His pounding headache was even starting to subside a little. Now if only Leia would tell him what he was getting dressed up for.

Instead of doing that, however, she looked him up and down before nodding to herself.

“I guess it’ll do.”

“It’ll do for _what_?”

“We don’t have time. Come on, we’ve gotta go!”

And so he found himself being dragged by Leia out of his cozy hotel room out into Fennmont proper. It wasn’t until they turned onto the road leading to Orda Palace that Alvin started to worry.

“Wait a sec. How come we’re heading for the palace?”

“Because… King Gaius invited us!”

“He what?” Alvin raised an eyebrow skeptically. This just screamed suspicious, though he couldn’t imagine why Leia would be trying to trick him. That she was even talking to him this much was enough of a surprise. The past few days had been a special case. Now that he was back to his usual self, he still found it hard to even face her.

Leia grabbed his sleeve and started toward the palace. “I don’t know, ask Rowen. All I know is that our presence has been requested at the palace.”

Alvin sighed as he let Leia pull him along. He was too tired to resist, in any case. Whatever it was, he’d sit through for however long he needed to and then sneak off as soon as he could.

Before long, they found themselves standing in front of a door on the third floor of the lavishly designed palace. Leia poked at his back.

“Well? We wouldn’t want to keep Gaius waiting, right?”

He nodded. Gaius was definitely one of the last people in the world he’d want to keep waiting. He placed his hand on the door knob and gently pushed the door open.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Alvin jumped back so fast he almost fell over. He hadn’t known what to expect, but a rush of noise and familiar faces he hadn’t seen in months was definitely one of the last things on his list. On closer examination, he spied the room beyond. Instead of the usual office tables and bookshelves, there were tables full of food: the biggest peach pie he’d seen in his life, various delicacies from Rashugal, Auj Oule, and even Elympios. And… Chicken Leronde? He wondered for a second if he was dreaming. And then he spied the table piled with ornately wrapped boxes. He glanced back at Leia to find that that she’d surreptitiously slipped on a party hat and was now pushing him into the room.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, Alfred. Don’t tell me you forgot it was your birthday?”

“Balan?” Alvin blinked in surprise. He was sure he looked like a total idiot right now.

And it wasn’t just his cousin here. Elize, Rowen, Driselle, that nurse chick that worked with Jude sometimes, and even…

“Yurgen? What the hell?”

His business partner smiled at him sheepishly. “Sorry, Alvin. I was in on this whole thing, too.”

Suddenly it all made sense. Yurgen had seemed oddly insistent on him taking a break, and that had aligned oh-so-perfectly with his plans to visit Jude in Fennmont. Clearly Balan and Yurgen had both been in on the plan. He doubted either was the mastermind, though. Which only left…

He glanced around the room to find that only one person in particular was missing. His heart sank at the realization. The question was on the tip of his tongue until Rowen interrupted him.

“Did you forget that it was your birthday, by chance?”

He honestly had, now that he thought about it. It’s not that Alvin didn’t care about his own birthday, he’d just never really had the luxury of celebrating it. The last time he’d properly celebrated his birthday with anyone had been his sixth birthday back in Elympios. It wasn’t an event he liked to think back on.

After arriving in Rieze Maxia, he hadn’t bothered to figure out where his birthday fell on the Rieze Maxian calendar. He had a general idea of when it was, but that was about it.

“I guess I did,” he said with an embarrassed laugh.

Elize shook her head. “How could you forget your own birthday? Even I remember mine!”

“Happens when you get old,” Alvin said jokingly.

“Now that you mention it…” Balan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “The last time you had a birthday party, it ended rather disastrously when you—”

“So!” Alvin strategically cut off his cousin as he walked toward the table full food. “I bet everyone’s gotten pretty hungry, waiting for me with all this mouth-watering food sitting out like this.”

When Elize tugged on his sleeve, he looked down to find her shaking her head.

“Presents first! Then we can all eat.”

Alvin couldn’t argue with that. Everyone else seemed to agree as they gathered around the table stacked with gifts. Being the center of attention like this was something Alvin could never quite get used to. With everyone looking on, Alvin reached for the first present. Something wrapped in rose pink wrapping paper that turned out to be from Driselle and Elize.

He’d worried that they’d gotten him something really girly, but upon opening the box he found a box of his favorite cologne. How they’d known this was what he used was beyond him. He hesitated before opening Balan’s gift only to find a fairly expensive watch. The other gifts were similarly thoughtful and by the time Alvin put down the last box, he found himself at a loss for words. The best he could do was awkwardly mumble a thanks to everyone before making an excuse about being hungry and turning toward the table full of food.

The peach pie had somehow been decorated with 27 candles – a gesture that Alvin found corny, yet endearing. The wide range of food available made him regret having had so much to drink the night before. His stomach was definitely not up to the task. Instead, he feigned gratitude as everyone insisted on heaping servings on his plate.

At the very least, he was able to stomach some of the Chicken Leronde, which turned out to be as good as it looked.

* * *

 

After things wound down a bit, Alvin was relieved to escape out onto the balcony adjoining the room to get some fresh air. The cool air felt nice on his skin as he rested on the railing and looked out onto Fennmont beyond, its night clime as stunning as ever. As nice as the party had been and as much as he’d enjoyed seeing old friends, something was definitely missing. Or rather, a certain someone.

Even the peach pie hadn’t seemed as good with that realization hanging over him. Alvin would know Jude’s cooking anywhere by now. It reminded him of how his mother made them, yet there was something distinctly different about the taste. A certain touch that Jude added to everything he cooked. Or maybe it was the fact that fruits grown in Rieze Maxia tasted better than anything you could find on Elympios.

Alvin wasn’t optimistic enough to believe that there was any other reason for Jude’s absence than his behavior the day before.

He thought back to how Jude and Leia had watched over him over the past few days. Even after he’d threatened them and tried to run away like an idiot, they’d still trusted him. Just like always. The worst part was that if he’d had the means, he probably would have killed either of them without another thought just to save his own skin.

His grip on the rail tightened. Just the thought of hurting them made him sick. He needed to get back his hotel, grab his things, and get the hell back to Xian Du. That wasn’t exactly a great way to pay Jude back for all of this, but Alvin figured it’d be for the best in the end. He never should’ve let himself imagine that they could be together like this.

He turned around, ready to run back to the room and make up some lame excuse to leave early, only to find Leia standing by the door. By the looks of things, she had just stepped out.

“Everything okay, Alvin?” She didn’t seem keen on approaching him. How different she seemed now from the Leia that had pulled him out of bed only a few hours ago.

“Didn’t expect you to come out here,” he said quietly.

“Everyone was getting worried about you. You seemed pretty quiet, especially for you.”

Alvin shrugged. “You didn’t tell them about my grand adventure over the past few days?”

She shook her head. “Come on, Alvin… That’s between you, me, and Jude. I might have a bad habit of blabbing people’s secrets, but even that’s a bit much for me.”

Alvin felt some of the heaviness hanging over him melt away. He owed Leia more than he could ever pay her back. “Thanks,” he whispered.

“You should be thanking Jude, too, you know. He’s been beating himself up about the whole thing,” Leia continued. She didn’t seem happy to be relaying the news to him. “I tried to convince him to come, but he said he had work to do in the lab and that we should go on without him. Heck, we weren’t sure you were still in town until Jude checked with the hotel.”

So they’d gone that far for him. It amazed him that even now, his friends were willing to drag him out of the holes he kept digging for himself.

Being a kid again had reminded him of how frightening the world used to be. How little control he’d had. Except this time, as scary as things had been, his friends had been there for him. He idly wondered how his life would have changed if he’d had friends like them to begin with.

“Look, tell Jude I’m sorry,” he said, unable to look at her directly.

Leia put her hands on her hips. “You should tell him, yourself.” She seemed to think better of her choice of words as she straightened up into a less stern pose. “Er, I mean… I think Jude would really only feel better if you told him yourself.”

Alvin turned back to the railing. “You sure about that?”

“I am!”

Despite the heavy mood, Leia’s stubbornness made Alvin laugh. “Never change, Leia.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind. In any case, Jude told me you were thinking of finding work in Elympios.”

“Oh? Yeah. I was thinking of doing that.”

Alvin turned toward Leia and headed in her direction back to the room. As he passed her, he almost patted her shoulder before thinking better of it. Even now, he knew things were still strained between them. “Hit me up in Trigleph or Duval sometime. I owe you, after all.” He winked at her as he opened the door.

Leia’s eyes widened in surprise. “Um, thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” Then, much to Alvin’s surprise, she smiled. “So does that mean we can have poker rematches?”

“Whoa, hey there. My gambling days are long over.”

Laughing, Leia waved at him. “Fine, fine. But I’ll remember what you said. And um, can I ask you one more favor?”

“Sure.”

“Take good care of Jude… okay?”

Surprised, Alvin nodded as he glanced back at Leia. Her nervous expression was gone; replaced with a striking look of recognition. Alvin turned away quickly, slightly embarrassed. Well, so much for that little secret. He nodded.

“I will.”

* * *

 

It turned out that all of the presents everyone had gotten Alvin were more than he could possibly carry on his own on his way home. Thankfully, Yurgen stepped in and volunteered to transport the majority of them. Getting gifts from everyone was another thing Alvin felt awkward about. Like he had to pay back each and every person even though he knew they expected nothing in return. This whole having friends who trusted him thing was trickier than he’d thought.

Once he’d deposited the few presents he’d kept in his hotel room, he set off for his destination, determination in every step. He’d checked the lab first, just to be sure. Jude’s usual staff was there, sans the kid himself. Thankfully, they’d happily pointed him in the direction of Jude’s dorm.

By now, the man at the front desk in Jude’s dorm was pretty familiar with Jude’s frequent visitor. Alvin gave him a mock salute as he walked by. He smiled even when his only response was a glare he was used to by now.

He marched up two flights of stairs and took a right once he reached the hallway before stopping at a familiar door. His hand hovered above the door knob for a few seconds as he licked his lips. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Would Jude even want to talk to him after yesterday? He stood there for a few moments still hesitating. He felt like an idiot being unable to even open the door. Thankfully, no one else appeared in the halfway.

He finally managed to muster up the courage to knock. His heart sank as both of his attempts went unanswered.

At this point, Alvin almost turned back. Maybe he really had upset Jude. Yet just as he was thinking of sulking back to his hotel, he remembered the spare key Jude had given him. He reached into his pocket, relieved to find it still there, before quietly opening the door.

Jude’s dorm room was almost exactly as Alvin remembered it. The only difference this time was an even larger heap of books stacked up against one wall. As Alvin closed the door behind him, his gaze fell on Jude’s desk. Currently it was occupied by its owner, though he was slumped over it on top of a book. Probably drooling, Alvin noted with amusement.

He felt a surge of affection as he stepped over to the desk and gently placed a hand on Jude’s shoulders. Jude really did have a bad habit of tiring himself out and then attempting to pull all-nighters studying. Alvin shook his shoulders lightly.

“Jude, wake up,” he said softly.

Jude stirred slightly, mumbling as he pushed himself up from the desk.

“Mm… who is it – Alvin?!” Eyes wide with disbelief, he stared up at his uninvited guest. “W-what’re you doing here?”

Alvin couldn’t help it, he fell back against Jude’s bed laughing. “Oh man, those lines all over your face! Is using a book as a pillow your new sexy look?”

Horrified, Jude rubbed his face and sure enough found the lines marking his impromptu pillow.

“Look on the bright side; at least you didn’t drool all over the page this time.”

Jude glared back. “I never did that!”

Alvin grinned. “It’s okay, honors student. I won’t tell anyone about your embarrassing habit.”

Jude turned back to the desk, face red, and quickly snapped his book closed before turning back to Alvin. “What’re you doing here, anyway? I thought,” he hesitated. “I thought you were going back to Xian Du.”

Kicking back on Jude’s bed as though he owned it, Alvin shrugged. “Couldn’t miss my own birthday party, now could I? Leia certainly didn’t think so.”

Jude sighed. “I told her she didn’t have to go that far…”

“Did you two cook that entire meal?”

“Uh…” Jude scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “We had help.”

“And the peach pie?”

“That was mostly me.”

Alvin turned his attention to the ceiling and started mentally tracing the pattern on it as he’d done countless nights before. Anything to avoid bringing up the elephant in the room.

“It was nice,” he said quietly. And then, “Thanks.”

“It’s not like it was a big deal or anything.” Jude scratched his head. “Er, well. I guess it was a lot of work… but it’s not like I minded.”

Alvin heard Jude fumble around for something in his desk. When he finally looked up, Jude was awkwardly handing a wrapped package to him. His cheeks still red, Jude kept his gaze averted.

Alvin accepted the box gratefully. He found himself once again at a loss for words as he gently ripped off the wrapping paper. He wasn’t prepared for what he found inside.

“Er, I hope it’s to your tastes,” Jude said nervously.

Going by Jude’s reaction, Alvin figured he looked as shocked as he felt. The sound of his pounding heart filled his ears. Whether it was from guilt or gratitude, he wasn’t sure.

“No, it’s… it’s perfect, actually.” At the moment, Alvin didn’t think he could lie even if he wanted to. He ran his fingers through the soft material of the pale yellow scarf in the box. He looked back up at Jude. “I’m starting to think you can read minds, kid.”

Jude laughed nervously. “Actually, Balan said you mentioned wanting something along these lines a few weeks ago when he went out drinking with you.”

Of course it was Balan. He really needed to stop agreeing to go out drinking with his cousin. Even if Balan offered to pay for drinks. _Especially_ if he offered to pay for drinks.

“Figures,” Alvin said with an uneasy laugh as he closed the box and set it aside on the bed. With that exchange over, an unsettling silence settled over the room. Just as he was about to say something to break the silence, Jude spoke up.

“About the last few days, Alvin. I’m… I’m sorry.”

Alvin’s head snapped up at that. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Jude repeated.

Alvin blinked awkwardly before letting out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “Jude…” He shook his head. All this time he’d been fighting his own guilt, not even sparing a thought toward anyone else.

“Y-yeah?”

“You really are an idiot sometimes, you know that?” Alvin rested his head in his hands, a shaky laugh escaping him. “I’m the one that stormed out on you yesterday after everything you’ve done for me and _you’re_ the one apologizing? Give me a break.”

“It’s my fault this whole thing happened to begin with,” Jude pointed out guiltily.

“And I’m the idiot that ran in to save those patients,” Alvin countered with a shrug. “You didn’t ask me to do that.”

“That’s true…”

“Look, Jude. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal,” Alvin offered. “I’ve been through much worse, believe me.”

That didn’t seem to be the right thing to say as Jude’s expression grew even more concerned. Alvin sighed and beckoned him towards the bed. Jude obliged him and moved from his desk to sit down comfortably next to Alvin on the bed.

“I wasn’t angry at you or anything,” Alvin admitted as he slipped an arm around Jude’s shoulders and pulled him close. “I was just…” he gazed off to the side. “Embarrassed.”

Bewildered, Jude looked up at him. “Embarrassed?”

“I’d rather leave the past in the past. And, well, I didn’t exactly have a normal childhood.”

Jude nodded. A few moments passed in silence before he spoke up. “What… was it like?”

“Being a kid?” Alvin thought Jude’s question over for a moment. “It sucked.”

He could feel Jude slump his shoulders.

“I’m sorr-”

Alvin cut him off. “Geez, kid, you’re starting to make me feel bad, here.”

“I didn’t mean to make you go through all that again,” Jude admitted.

“It wasn’t all that bad.” He pulled Jude closer. “After all, I was lucky enough to have my friends watching over me.”

Jude scratched his head nervously. “Well…” He chuckled before adding, “You were kind of cute at that age.”

“Just be glad you didn’t see me when I was your age.” Alvin leaned down closer to Jude’s ear. “Then you’d probably leave me forever.”

Jude snorted dismissively. “Saying stuff like that just makes me more curious, you know.”

“You really find me that interesting, huh?” Alvin’s tone was light, though he wished he felt as calm as he sounded. To be honest, he always considered his relationship with Jude to be a stroke of luck. He’d developed feelings for the kid way earlier than he liked to admit, but he’d never dreamed that the kid felt the same way. He figured it would be like all of his past relationships: sudden, quick, and ending before he could get too attached. Yet now here he was a year later and still just as in love with Jude as ever. The thought of telling Jude so much about himself scared him to death.

“I’ve always wanted to know more about you,” Jude admitted shyly. “But I didn’t want to, you know, reopen old wounds.”

Alvin raised an eyebrow. “What’s in it for you?”

Jude elbowed him in the side. “Come on, Alvin. It’s not like that. I just…” He paused for a moment, hesitating. “I want to get to know the person I love better.”

They never had quite put a name to the relationship they’d built over the past year. Hearing Jude say the one thing he’d never expected – never felt he deserved – almost made the entire past week forgettable. Without warning, he pulled Jude down onto the bed with him, laughing at Jude’s yelp of surprise. Lying on the bed face to face now, Alvin grinned at him. “So what do you want to know?”

Jude stared at him, eyes wide. “Well, um, I guess we could always start at the beginning.”

Talking about himself wasn’t something that came naturally to Alvin. For Jude, though, he was willing to make an exception.

“Let’s see…” Alvin trailed off as he turned back up toward the ceiling.

He was surprised at how much he still remembered of his life before leaving Elympios. He supposed he’d always clung to those memories more than any others.

It was as though a wall he’d been building up for years finally came crashing down. He found himself telling Jude about his memories of his mother. The days he’d wake up to the smell of peach pie coming from the kitchen. The day he thought he’d lost his mother forever as he visited her in the hospital. The fact that he couldn’t remember his father’s face. How Rieze Maxia’s vibrant landscapes filled with life had been far beyond anything he ever could have imagined.

Jude, as always, was a good listener. Smiling, he urged Alvin to keep going.

Alvin found himself talking about his days in Exodus. When he’d first learned to use a gun. How many times it took him to stop feeling sick to his stomach after killing someone. The rare times when his mother actually remembered who she was and how he used to consider those days the best days of his life. The day he'd decided to stop using the name Alfred and how 'Alvin' was just a lazy combination of his first and middle names. How he and Presa met. How he still blamed himself for her death. How he had been watching Jude and Milla when they’d first found the Lance of Kresnik. Why he'd sooner chop off an arm than attempt to reclaim the Svent name and everything that came with it.

“That’s pretty much the gist of things,” Alvin finally said. He glanced over at Jude who seemed to be fighting to stay awake, his eyes already half closed. He couldn’t blame the kid, he’d gone on for two hours at least.

“Go on,” Jude said sleepily.

Alvin laughed as he pulled up the blanket and moved aside on the bed. “How about I take a rain check on that for now? You look like you’re ready to turn in.”

“No, it was really interesting,” Jude protested. “I’m just… kind of tired.” He tried stifling a yawn but failed.

“We’ve got all week, right?”

At that, Jude’s eyes lit up. “You aren’t going back to Xian Du?”

“Of course not.” He pulled the blanket over Jude’s shoulders. “Now get some rest, kid. Wouldn’t want you passing out on me tomorrow.”

“Mmm… yeah,” Jude mumbled, already half asleep.

* * *

 

Alvin blamed sleeping in for his bought of insomnia as he lay in the darkness of Jude’s room gazing out at Fennmont through the window. This late at night, his thoughts usually wandered more than he’d like, though at the moment he found he didn’t mind. If the past few days had taught him anything, it was that the past was something he could never change as much as he might want to. But the future... he’d never really been one to give it much thought. In his former line of work, he could easily be dead the next day for all he knew. But now as he turned to find Jude dozing softly at his side, he could honestly say he was looking forward to the future for a change. He had a whole week ahead of him to spend in Fennmont with Jude. If time permitted, he’d even pay a visit to a certain patient at Talim Medical School.

He reached over to ruffle Jude’s hair fondly before whispering, “Thanks, kid.”

As soon as he pushed himself up from the bed to get ready to head back to his hotel room, he felt Jude’s hand grab his arm.

“Wait,” Jude murmured sleepily. “Don’t go.”

Alvin glanced down to find Jude gazing up at him. His lips curved into a smile. “Fine, fine.” He settled back down onto the bed next to Jude.

“What time is it?” Jude asked, sleep still heavy in his voice.

“Hm?” Alvin glanced at his brand new watch on the night stand. “Quarter ‘til midnight, why?”

“Because…” Jude slipped his arms around Alvin’s shoulders. “I can still say this.”

He pulled Alvin close for a slow, sleep-tinged kiss. Alvin pulled back to find Jude smiling lopsidedly at him.

“Happy Birthday, Alvin.”

As Alvin moved in for another kiss, he couldn’t help but look forward to tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad I finally finished this. I'm not sure if I'll write more for Tales of Xillia. I'm not the fastest writer. If I do, it'll probably skew more toward Xillia 1 than 2. That or just be an AU.
> 
> Thanks again for reading. Everyone's comments and kudos meant a lot to me as I chipped away at this.


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